Nine Steps Back
by Thalia Marie Grace
Summary: The man standing in front of her was the man she'd spent nine years running away from. The man who'd broken her heart during her senior year of high school was standing right in front of her. Clary felt her heart pounding against her ribcage. It was Jace Lightwood. [AU/AH. T.]
1. preface

**Author's Note: Here I am, back with a brand new story that I hope you'll enjoy. It's another AU/AH one, but unlike Project Marriage, this one is **_**not **_**in high school. Updates might be slower, because I've been busy with school and such, but I'll try my hardest to keep this going as quick as possible because I love you guys.**

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><p><strong>Nine Steps Back<strong>

_as·phyx·i·a (asˈfiksēə) (__n.) : __a condition arising when the body is deprived of oxygen, causing unconsciousness or death; suffocation._

Looking back on it now, she realised that she should have seen in coming. She should have kept his reputation in the back of her mind, and she shouldn't have been so _stupid _when it was obvious that he'd never changed.

But still, it had hurt. It had been the best four years of her life—two as his best friend, two as something _more_. She should have done something. She should have given him space. She should have stepped away when she knew he was uncomfortable. She should have—

It was too late to change anything, especially now after nine years. Nine long years since she'd fled, sobbing; nine long years since she'd attempted to take her own life; nine long years since she went into a coma for nearly eleven months.

She had a good life—a _great _life. She was living in her own penthouse flat in Manhattan, and every night she would sit cross-legged on her balcony and sketch the skyline in her drawing pad. And when the attacks came, her mother was just a number away, and so was the hospital.

Sure; she'd never gone to college. But she was managing. European art buyers would come to her, single her out, and ask for a painting. They paid well. She was living on more than enough money.

Which meant that she could have gone without saying yes to Maryse and Robert Lightwood—but she'd always had a soft spot for his parents, who had made an effort to make sure she was okay after what had happened.

It was the worst mistake she'd made in the last nine years. No—

It was the worst mistake she'd made in her entire life.

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><p>"It's beautiful, dear," said Maryse Lightwood with pride, smiling kindly at the twenty-seven-year-old girl beside her. "I will never be able to thank you enough times."<p>

"It was my pleasure." Clary Morgenstern responded, clasping her hands together in front of her. She smiled back at the aging woman. "Though I would never have guessed you wanted an angel."

"I think Ithuriel looks magnificent." Robert Lightwood mused from his wife's side. "You did a wonderful job, Clary, as always."

"Thank you." Clary's cheeks were a bright pink. She'd never been good with compliments. "But you know me—I just love to make art. I was glad for an excuse."

"So how have you been?" Maryse inquired kindly.

Clary'd been expecting the question. She'd been expecting an initiate to a conversation, and she would be lying if she said she wasn't expecting an invitation to stay for dinner. To be honest, Clary felt a bit bad for Maryse and Robert. They were all alone in the giant home that used to be an institute, because their children were all out or in college.

But that damn soft spot wouldn't let her be rude to them.

"I've been well." Clary nodded, her eyes fixed upon her painting. "Manhattan is still my favourite place, after all these years."

"And your parents?" asked Robert. He was glancing at his wife.

"They're well, too," said Clary, nodding a second time. "I haven't seen Dad in a while, but I've kept in touch. He wants me to visit him in Chicago soon. And my mom and Luke are thinking about getting a dog around the house."

"They miss you, you know." Maryse blurted out. Her eyes were shining sadly.

Clary had been expecting that, too.

It was dead silent in the room, other than the sharp breath that Robert took in. His eyes were wild, alert, already apologising to Clary.

"I think that's my cue to leave," said Clary quietly. She smiled slightly, politely, at the couple in front of her. "I'm glad you like the painting. It was nice to see you two again."

Maryse's mouth was still open, and her jaw was moving up and down in a desperate attempt to make words leave her mouth. But it wasn't working.

_Breathe in, breathe out. _Clary had made it to the door and was reaching for the handle when it swung open in front of her.

"Holy _hell, _it's cold outside." the man in front of her complained, turning his head over his shoulder to speak to the people behind him. He was hanging up his scarf on the rack as he called, "Mom? Dad? We're—"

Then he froze. Because he'd finally noticed who was right in front of him.

And Clary had just recognised who was right in front of her.

The man standing in front of her was the man she'd spent nine years running away from. The man who'd broken her heart during her senior year of high school was standing _right in front of her._ Clary felt her heart pounding against her ribcage.

It was Jace Lightwood.

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><p><strong>Wow; that took me a long time to write...but I really hope you like it. I'll try to update later this week! And don't worry, because I'm working on the second one-shot in the Elements tetralogy, and I'm also still working on Project Marriage and Project Carrot. So stay tuned, and please review! Xxx<strong>

**(P.S. Just started Sherlock. Finished the first season. I am hyperventilating.)**


	2. one

**Author's Note: I'm **_**so glad **_**that you all like this story! I get that it's a little confusing in the first chapter, because I haven't really explained anything yet, but you'll start to understand as we go along.**

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><p><strong>Chapter One<strong>

_2001_

Clary Morgenstern walked into Biology class first hour, holding her sketch pad close against her chest as she looked at the names printed on the desk and sat at the one with the purple sticky-note that had 'Clary Morgenstern' printed in neat letters. It was her first day of high school, and despite what her older, sophomore-year brother had told her, it was terrifying.

She was the third person in the class. The other two were a blonde girl and a brown-haired boy. They didn't speak to each other, either, and Clary made no move to make conversation. All she did was put her sketchbook in her backpack and then zip it up.

By the time the last bell rang, there were twenty-five students in the class. Clary didn't bother looking around at them. She figured she wouldn't make any friends, anyway. Not in this class.

On Clary's left was a boy with blond hair and on _his _left was a girl with long black hair. Clary had seen them walking into the room together. She assumed they were siblings, or maybe cousins, or maybe even just best friends.

And she also assumed that they wouldn't say a word to her the entire year.

But five minutes later, she discovered she was wrong.

"Clary," said the black-haired girl, leaning over the boy's desk to look at the sticky-note on Clary's desk. "That's a pretty name. Is it short for something?"

"Clarissa." Clary bit the inside of her cheek.

"That's even _prettier. _My name's Isabelle. It's not that impressive, but you can call me Izzy, if you want." Isabelle smiled at Clary. "And this—this is my twin brother, Jace. _His _name is short for Jonathan Christopher—his initials are JC, and that sounds like Jace."

"That's my brother's name." Clary blurted out. "Jonathan Christopher."

"Really?" Isabelle looked intrigued. "That's _so _cool. And weird. My older brother's best friend has the same name too. Wait—what's your last name?"

"Morgenstern."

"Oh. Well, that would make sense. _Your _brother is my brother's best friend."

"You're Alec Lightwood's sister," realised Clary.

"Girls talk too much," said Jace Lightwood, who had been glancing back and forth between his sister and Clary.

"I'm _trying _to be nice, Jace." Isabelle grumbled. Clary watched as Jace rolled his eyes—and she also noticed how cute he was doing it.

Oh, come on. It wasn't even half an hour into class and she was already developing a crush on someone.

"It's too early to be nice to people, Izzy." Jace retorted.

"You're never nice to people in the first place!"

It made Clary almost laugh out loud, the way Jace and Isabelle bickered. They quieted down after a pointed look from Mr. Penhallow, but they still continued to whisper insults at each other without pause. It was amusing.

Just before the bell rang, while Clary was putting her pencils away in her backpack, Isabelle tapped on her shoulder. "What's your next class?" she inquired.

"Uh..." Clary glanced at her schedule. "I've got Algebra."

"With who?" Jace turned around; his backpack was already slung over one shoulder.

"Herondale."

"That's who I have." he gave her a small smile, while Isabelle gave a small frown.

"I have Spanish," said Isabelle, looking down at the schedule in her hands. "Dang it."

"My best friend's in that class." Clary supplied helpfully. "Simon Lewis. He's a major nerd, but once you get to know him, he's still a major nerd."

Isabelle laughed. "Good to know. I'll see you guys later," she added when the bell rang.

"See you, Iz." Jace replied to his sister, and then he gave another smile to Clary. "Well, we don't want to be late to Algebra on the first day, do we?"

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><p>"Clary?" her name came from Isabelle Lightwood, who was standing behind her twin brother and beside Clary's former best friend, Simon Lewis. Her dark brown eyes were wide. As Clary glanced toward her, she realised that Isabelle was still as beautiful as she had been when she was eighteen years old. And to this day, Clary was still jealous of her former friend's beauty.<p>

"I—" was all Clary started to say. What _could _she say to them? Here were three people that she hadn't spoken to in nine years, and she couldn't find anything to say to any of them. She had no desire to speak to any of them. Most of all, she kept her eyes away from Jace. She would _not _let herself look at him ever again.

"Clary was just stopping by with a painting she made." Maryse had appeared at Clary's right shoulder, Robert at her left. "It's in the main hall if you three want to go look at it."

She was giving Clary an escape.

"You didn't tell us that Clary was painting something for you." Jace finally spoke. His voice was slightly raised, like he was caught off guard. He probably was. Seeing Clary in his house was probably the last thing he'd ever expected to walk into when he got home.

"Well, we wanted the painting to be a surprise." Robert answered his son. His tone was a little more demanding as he said, "Go and look at it."

Isabelle and Simon both stared at Clary as they passed her. Clary's heart was still pounding. Her hands shook a little more as she turned, thanked Maryse silently, and left the house.

What the _hell? _Why did she think she could get away with stepping into that house? It took all Clary had to stop herself from sprinting to her car. The word _stupid _pounded through her mind on a repeat. She was stupid to come to this house. She was stupid to agree to painting an angel for the Lightwoods.

Clary's hands were tight on the steering wheel in her car as she backed out of the driveway and drove as fast as she could to get home. Her breath hitched in her throat as she unlocked the penthouse door.

And when she stepped inside, as if it were on cue, her phone rang.

"H-hello?" Clary pressed the phone against her ear, taking a deep breath. _Breathe in, breathe out._

"Clary?" it was her brother, Jonathan. He frowned. "Is everything alright? You sound terrified."

"I just—I just ran into Jace. And Isabelle. And Simon."

"How did you manage to do that?"

"I was—er, at their house."

She could almost envision her brother rolling his eyes as he walked around his living room. "Oh, no. God forbid you run into the Lightwoods at their _house_."

"Shut up, Jon." Clary was calming down slightly. Jonathan always helped her. "Maryse and Robert had assured me they wouldn't come home until after dinner."

"Why _were _you there, anyway?"

"I was giving Maryse and Robert a painting. They wanted something for their hallway, and they called me about sketching an angel. So I drew the angel Ithuriel and gave it to them, and as I was about to leave..."

"What did you say to them?"

"Nothing. I said absolutely nothing." Clary shook her head.

"Wow." Jonathan let out a breath. "I mean...you were lucky enough to have never run into them since you've been back in Manhattan, Clary. It was bound to happen sooner or later."

"Yeah, but...what if it happens more?" she propped the phone between her shoulder and ear. Twisting her hands together nervously, she added, "What if they find out where I live? What if they want to see me again? They had no idea I was in Manhattan, Jon, and now they do!"

"No, they don't. Calm down," he said softly. "Of course they'll want to see you again, but they won't find out where you live. Maybe they'll assume you were just dropping off the painting and you were in the neighbourhood. Look—will it make you feel better if I swear not to tell?"

"Yes." Clary admitted.

"Then I swear I won't tell Jace, Isabelle, Alec, or Simon." Jonathan promised. "And I can call Mom and Luke, too, and even Dad, and make sure that they promise, too. All right?"

"All right," she repeated.

"Good. Look—Mary just got home, so I have to go, but I will call you later and make sure you're all right, okay?"

"Okay." Clary sighed. "Thanks, Jon."

"Of course," he replied. "Love you, little sis."

"Love you too, big bro." she mumbled into the phone, and then hung up, taking another deep breath.

Clary spent the rest of the night pacing, eating, and sketching.

She didn't sleep that night.

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><p>It was around noon the next day, and Clary was already on her fifth cup of coffee as she started to draw the beginnings of what would hopefully be her mother's birthday present. The sun was shining brightly through the windows, illuminating Clary's entire living room in somewhat of a golden glow.<p>

There was a knock on the door.

Clary frowned, setting down her coffee mug and pencil. She knew her parents wouldn't be stopping by, and neither would Luke. Jonathan would have said something...maybe it was mail? Clary was clueless. She had no idea.

The person knocked again.

Clary really needed one of those peepholes on her door. It hadn't been built into the door originally, and she'd been meaning to get one ever since she bought the place.

And she wished that she'd had one before she'd opened the door.

"Oh, thank God," said the boy in front of her, who was clearly in his very early twenties. His brown hair was covered with a knitted beanie, and his glasses were a little lopsided on his face. His cheeks were pink from the cold outside but his grey eyes were wild with excitement. "I got the right address. Hi, Clary."

Clary was officially, one-hundred percent done with everything. Because the college-aged boy standing in her doorway was—

"Max?"

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><p><strong>Don't you just loooove cliffhangers?<strong>

**First of all, I'd really love to thank everyone for all of the feedback from just the first chapter! I'm so glad that all of you were interested enough to review and such. So here's the second chapter, which I hope you enjoyed! Hopefully, I'll update again by the end of this week. :-)**


	3. two

**Author's Note: Constantly blown away by the amount of feedback I've been getting for this story.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Two<strong>

_2001_

The house looming in front of Clary was gigantic. It didn't even _look _like a house—it looked like an old church, or maybe even an old school. The entire thing was probably three times her home.

Was this the address? Clary checked the piece of paper in her hands and frowned. It was, all right. She leaned forward and knocked three times on the door.

A woman who looked like a much older version of Isabelle opened the door. "Oh," she said softly, smiling at Clary. "You must be Clary."

"That's me." Clary shoved the scrap of paper into her pocket. "Are you Mrs. Lightwood?"

"Call me Maryse." the woman requested. Her smile widened. "Well, come on in. I just made lunch, if you're hungry."

"Oh. No, thank you." Clary answered politely as she followed Maryse inside. "I already ate."

She followed Maryse through the hall and down toward what she assumed would be the dining room. "This house is amazing," she mused, looking around.

"Thank you. It used to be a school, actually. We've got a library. I assume that's where you and Jace will be working?"

"I—uh, I think so. I'm not sure."

"Mom? Who was at the—" Jace came around the corner, and he smiled when he saw Clary. "Hey. Ready to start the project?"

"As long as we get it done." Clary smiled back. Her heart beat a little faster. "I'm ready, yeah. Where do we start?"

"Library." Jace pointed down the hall. "It's just down there. Come on."

Clary noticed Maryse's smile widen as she followed Jace down the hall. "This place is, like, sixteen times bigger than my house."

"I'll be the judge of that." Jace turned to smile at her. "Assuming I'm still coming over next weekend to finish the project, right?"

"Well, I'm hoping we'll get it done today." Clary admitted. "But you could...uh, you could still come over, if you want."

Jace opened his mouth to say something, but a voice called, "Jace! Do you want to go play basketball with me outside?"

It sounded like a little boy, and a second later, a small boy maybe around the age of seven or eight came running out of the library. He was scrawny, possibly smaller than a boy his age should be, and he had thick black glasses that were lopsided on his nose. His brown hair stuck up messily. "I finished all my homework, like Mom told me to." the boy said excitedly. "So that means we can go outside and—who's this?"

He was squinting at Clary. "And why is her hair so _red?"_

Clary felt her cheeks heat up.

"Max." Jace shot Clary an apologetic glance. "This is my friend, Clary. We're doing a project for school together, which means...maybe you could ask Alec to shoot some hoops, okay? Otherwise, I won't be able to until Clary leaves."

"Oh." Max looked upset. "That's okay. What's the project about?"

"It's for a book we read in English." Jace explained. He ruffled his brother's hair. "Maybe Mom will let us watch _The Avengers _before bedtime tonight?"

Max's eyes lit up. "That'd be awesome!" he said excitedly. "Okay. I'll go ask her. Have fun with your project! Bye, Clary!"

He dashed down the hall.

"That's my younger brother." Jace told Clary, holding the door open for her as they entered the library. "Max."

"How old is he?" she inquired, smiling slightly.

"Seven, almost eight." he smiled. "And I think he took a liking to you."

"He said my hair was too red."

"That's Max's way of complimenting people. Trust me; I guarantee he's going to ask me about you after you leave."

"Don't say anything bad about me." she warned him teasingly.

Jace laughed. "I wouldn't dream of it. Now, let's get to work."

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><p>"Max?" Clary couldn't believe what she saw in front of her. How long had it been since she'd last seen Max Lightwood? At least nine, maybe even ten. "Holy crap. How did you—"<p>

"Jonathan gave me your address." Max answered, rubbing the back of his neck. "Something about—oh. I wasn't supposed to tell you that he gave it to me."

"I can keep a secret." Clary reassured.

"Uh...no offense, Clary, but I hardly believe that."

Clary started to smile, but she forced it off her face a moment later. "Look, Max, I'm not talking to your family anymore. I—"

"I know." Max cut her off, looking down at his feet, which he shifted awkwardly. "Just because I went to boarding school when I was eleven doesn't mean I wasn't at the hospital."

She blinked. "You were?"

"I wanted to come home, so Mom and Dad let me leave Idris Academy." he bit his lip. "And I wanted to give you flowers, but your mom told me that you didn't want to see me. She took the flowers, but I don't think you ever got them."

Clary faintly remembered a bright bouquet that she managed to see her mother throw away through squinted eyes. "Okay," she said, swallowing. "Fine. Come on in."

She didn't miss the light in his eyes as he entered, kicking off his sneakers. He hung up his coat and hat next to hers on her coat rack, and fixed his glasses. "So I bet you're wondering why I'm here."

"Not really." she sighed. "I mean, I'm assuming you're here to get me to talk to the others again."

"Actually, no." Max frowned at her. "I came here to wish you a happy birthday."

Clary raised her eyebrows. To this day, she still hated that she couldn't just raise one. It was something J—no. She wouldn't think about him. Just because she saw him yesterday didn't give her a free pass to think about him. "Max, my birthday was in August. It's December fifth."

"I had no idea where you lived." Max complained. "And I was nervous, anyways. I thought you still didn't want to see me. Actually, I still think that."

She bit her lip.

"I got you something." he said suddenly, reaching into his bag. "I remember how you feel about presents, but I still wanted to get you something."

Suddenly, Clary felt awful for pushing Max away. He looked so excited to be talking to her. Did she do the wrong thing? Did she overreact? Clary chewed on her lower lip. Her real issue was with Jace. Pushing everyone else away...it was stupid of her.

"I know you probably have, like, sixteen million of these stocked up." Max pulled something from his bag; it was wrapped in blue wrapping paper. Was it by chance, or had he remembered blue was her favourite colour after all these years? "But this one is special. You'll see why."

Clary unwrapped the gift, and the first thing she felt was a spiral. Was it a sketchbook? She tore the rest of the paper off, and she discovered that she was right. But the design of the book...was...

"It's us." Clary said softly. She could hardly believe it. "How did you get this, Max?"

"The internet works in mysterious ways, you know." Max smiled slightly. "Do you like it?"

"I...do. I love it." she inhaled. "This is beautiful, Max. Wow."

On the cover of the sketchpad was a photograph inside a frame. The picture inside the frame was of Max and Clary from when they'd gone to the amusement park just before Max left for boarding school.

"The rest of the photos from the photo strip are in there, too," he added. "In case you want to change the photo."

"I think it's safe to say that this is the best birthday present I've ever gotten." Clary mused quietly. She looked up, setting the sketchbook on the counter beside her, and hugged him.

Even though Max was seven years younger than Clary, he was several inches taller. She hated being short. "Thank you, Max."

"Of course, Clary," he murmured back. "So, I...I guess I should probably get going, huh?"

"No." Clary grinned at him, pulling away. "Actually, I'm planning on ordering takeout, and I know how much you love Chinese food. So...how about you stay for dinner?"

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><p><strong>Yay! I love the ClaryMax bromance, don't you?**

**You know what warmed my heart? I got a review from someone telling me they were excited that I mentioned Mary because they missed her! Aww, I'm so glad you guys love my OC. She's the only reoccurring OC in my stories. :-)**

**Also, you know what I just realised? Jonathan's love interest in my stories is Mary. Jon and Mary (Winchester). And you know what's creepy about that? I hadn't even seen Supernatural before in my entire life when I chose the name Mary. **

**Speaking of Supernatural...Who's watching the 200****th**** episode in just under an hour?**

**Review for me, loves!**


	4. three

**Author's Note: How are y'all?**

**And **_**yes, **_**Clary works at Barnes and Noble in my story. C'mon; she's an artist. She has to work at book store.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Three<strong>

_2002_

"Come _on, _Clary, just admit it! You _so _like him."

"I do not!" Clary defended herself, blushing furiously. "He's my best friend, Isabelle."

"So?" Isabelle pushed Clary's shoulder with her own. "You're also Simon's best friend, and he liked _you."_

"That was different."

"It was not."

"I don't like him, Isabelle!"

Isabelle rolled her eyes, but she was grinning. It was obvious she didn't believe Clary—which was ironic, because Clary didn't even believe herself. "Fine, Clary. Then explain this," she said, reaching into her overnight bag and pulling out a crumpled piece of paper. When she opened it, it was a very-well sketched portrait of Jace.

Clary blushed even deeper. "It was for an _art _project!" she snapped, snatching the paper away from her friend. "And for your information, I originally had asked Simon, but he got the flu! Jace _offered."_

"I'm sure he did." Isabelle giggled. "Look, Clary, I have no issue with it. Actually, I support it."

"There's nothing to support." Clary muttered.

"Of course there is."

"I don't like your brother, Isabelle."

Isabelle sighed, raising her hands in surrender. "Fine. You've convinced me. You don't like him."

Clary bit her lip. "Okay...so...maybe I do."

"I _knew _it!" Isabelle squealed loudly, hugging her best friend tightly. "How long have you liked him for?"

"I don't know, Isabelle!" Clary was blushing all over again. "I...I thought he was cute when I met him, but I'm not sure!"

"I can't believe it took you a full year to admit that you like him." Isabelle pointed her finger at Clary, frowning.

"Just because I thought he was cute doesn't mean I had a crush on him right away, Izzy."

"Sure, sure," she said, waving a hand. "Either way, this is _perfect! _This means I can tell Jace you like him, and—"

"_What?" _Clary screeched loudly, causing Isabelle to jump a foot in the air. "No! No way in hell! Don't you _dare _tell him!"

"What?" Isabelle looked shocked. "Well, why not?"

"Are you crazy, Izzy? He'll stop talking to me! He doesn't like me!"

"I think _you're _the crazy one, Clary." Isabelle put her hands on her hips. "It's obvious my brother's head over heels for you. He just doesn't realise it yet."

"Oh, yeah. That's reassuring." she snorted. "You're wrong, Isabelle."

"I'm _never _wrong about love," stated Isabelle proudly.

"You're getting ahead of yourself. I—I don't _love _Jace."

"Keep telling yourself that, Clary." Isabelle was grinning. "Eventually, you'll love him."

Clary blushed deeply, staring down at her hands. "Okay, enough talking about my love life." A sudden grin spread on her face, and she raised both eyebrows suggestively. "Let's talk about you and Simon."

* * *

><p>Clary pulled the photograph out of the sketchpad and looked at it, smiling slightly. It was the morning after Max had stayed for Chinese, and Clary had gotten less than enough sleep.<p>

The photograph had been blown up. Behind it, cut neatly, were the other blown up photos from the strip, but she didn't look at them. She remembered the day clearly. Out of the six photographs in the strip, there was only one she was willing to look at now, and that was the one of her and Max.

And she was so glad that Max showed up at her apartment, albeit part of her still worried. Sure, Jonathan hadn't promised to keep her address from Max, but what if Max told someone? Or...what if Jonathan told Magnus? Magnus had been Alec's boyfriend since Clary's senior year. He wouldn't keep a secret like that from Alec. Or what if Jonathan went against his promise completely and told...

She shook her head, putting the photograph back into the frame. Just because she was friends with Max again didn't mean she had to jump back into her old life.

Yawning widely, Clary grabbed her winter coat. It was snowing lightly outside, which—despite the beauty—meant traffic would be awful. And she wanted to stop at Java Jones before getting to work, but she was running late already—there would be no time.

She supposed the Starbucks inside Barnes and Noble would have to do.

* * *

><p>"Morning, Eric." Clary flashed a tired smile at her manager, hanging her coat and keys up on her hook in the employee's lounge. "Let me stop at Starbucks to get a wake-me-up and then I'll get right to working, all right?"<p>

"As long as you hurry," Eric warned. "Those kindergarteners aren't going to read to themselves."

"I know, I know." Clary pinned her nametag to her shirt and tied her hair back in a hasty braid. "Thanks, Eric."

She rushed out of the room, glancing up at the second floor where she would be reading a picture book to a large group of kindergarten kids.

And then she crashed into someone.

"Oh, my gosh!" a female voice yelped, sounding surprised. "I'm so, _so _sorry! I should have waited to send that stupid text until I sat down—"

"No, it's my fault." Clary sighed, stepping back. "I wasn't—_Isabelle?"_

"_Clary?" _Isabelle Lightwood stared at Clary with wide brown eyes. "Oh, gosh, I feel even worse."

"No—I—it's not your fault." Clary swallowed. How many people from her past was she going to run into? First Jace (and technically Isabelle, Alec, and Simon), and then Max? Was she cursed? "I wasn't watching myself. Uh—why are you here? Not to be rude, but I seem to remember that you weren't exactly a book girl."

"That still stands." Isabelle smiled slightly. "Uh, I'm getting a couple Christmas presents for Simon."

"Oh. That's nice." Clary nodded, starting to move past her old friend. "Well, I've got to grab coffee before I get to work—and _what _in hell is _that?"_

She was staring at the large diamond on Isabelle's finger.

"Oh." Isabelle blushed. "Uh, that's my engagement ring. Simon and I are getting married."

"You're kidding." Clary felt a little hurt before she realised that she was the reason why Simon or Isabelle wouldn't have told her. "Wow. Congratulations. Uh—when's the date?"

"Next week." Isabelle was chewing on the inside of her cheek, which had always been a nervous habit of hers. Clary remembered that. "Oh! God, I'm so stupid. You should come to the wedding."

"I can't." she answered on instinct. "I'm—uh, busy. Work."

"Eric will understand. After all, he's coming to the wedding, too." Isabelle waved a hand. _Eric _was coming to the wedding? "Please? Oh, this is perfect! You remember Maia Roberts, right?"

"Uh...that girl that Simon dated briefly while dating you?"

"Exactly. Anyway, she was _supposed _to be my maid of honour, but she came down with mono a few days ago. I was planning on asking Rebecca, but you can fill in, can't you?"

"Uh—I—" Clary meant to say no. Honestly, she had. But the word that came out of her mouth was an "Okay."

Isabelle squealed, sounding just like the best friend Clary remembered, and she hugged the redhead tightly. "This is perfect! You have no idea _how _relieved I am that you agreed. I'm so glad you're coming to the wedding. Simon'll love it."

"I'm sure he will. That's why you invited me when you decided on a date, right?" Clary blurted out before she could stop herself, and then she immediately regretted it upon seeing the look on Isabelle's face.

"Clary..." she started.

"You know what? It's fine. Doesn't matter." Clary bit down so hard on her lower lip that she drew blood. "I've got to go or I'll be late. And kindergarteners aren't exactly patient."

She left a shocked and hurt-looking Isabelle standing in the middle of Barnes and Noble, and it took everything Clary had not to look back.

* * *

><p><strong>What's this? An update two nights in a row? Holy potatoes!<strong>

**If you watched the Supernatural episode last night, PM me! We must talk about its fantasticness.**

**And if any of you out there think this story is going too fast, just wait. Sure, Clary may be willing to let in Max and maybe Isabelle, but she didn't have a quarrel with them, remember? It won't be that easy for her to accept Jace's apology without her breaking first...**

**(P.S. Reviews equal faster updates. Maybe.)**


	5. four

**Author's Note: Hi, everyone! How was your day?**

**P.S. My six-year-old/seven-year-old speak is a little rusty, so just pretend.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Four<strong>

_1993_

"Just because I'm in second grade doesn't mean I can read the Bible, Clary," said Jonathan with a pout, holding the leather-bound book in his hands. "Can't I just make something up?"

"No," insisted Clary stubbornly, glaring at her brother. "This is supposed to be real. Me and Simon want to get married."

"Simon and I," corrected her best friend, pushing his glasses up on his nose.

Clary's eyebrows furrowed. "No, Simon. You and me. Why would you want to marry yourself?"

Simon made a face. "Never mind."

Jonathan sighed, opening the Bible again. "Where even is the wedding speech in this thing? Do they even use a Bible at ceremonies?"

"Kids?" Jocelyn called, sticking her head into Clary's bedroom. "What's going on in here?"

"Clary and Simon are getting married." Jonathan said helpfully.

"_Jon!" _Clary whacked her brother's arm. "You weren't supposed to tell her 'til _after _we got married!"

"You're getting married?" Jocelyn raised an eyebrow at Simon and Clary. "Why didn't you invite your parents?"

"Because you'd say no." Clary lifted her chin stubbornly. "But Simon and I are gonna get married anyway."

Jocelyn's eyebrow was still arched. "Why are you going to get married?"

"Clary's my best friend. And I'm her best friend." Simon nodded fervently.

"So...you two are getting married because you're best friends?"

"Yes."

"Well, that's not exactly how marriage works." Jocelyn knelt in front of Clary and Simon. "People get married because they love each other. Like how I love your father. Or how your grandparents love each other. They love each other _so much_ that they want to start a family. So they get married."

"But...I love Jon. Does that mean I have to marry _him?" _Clary frowned.

"Ew! No!" Jonathan protested.

Clary stuck her tongue out at him.

"No." Jocelyn laughed. "He's your brother. That's a _different _kind of love. That kind of love is...it's a sibling love. A family love. Like how you love me, or your father. Do you love Simon in a family way?"

"I don't know." Clary shrugged. "He's my best friend."

"I think he's more of a brother to you." Jocelyn leaned forward, tucking a strand of her daughter's curly hair behind her ear. "So I vote a no on the marriage."

"Dang it," said Simon under his breath.

"I don't understand it still." Clary insisted impatiently.

Jocelyn fought back a smile, clearly amused. "However, some day, you'll find someone that you love so much, and you'll want to marry that person. Then you'll understand. But as for now—"

"Is lunch ready?" Clary looked up at her mother with wide eyes. "'Cause I'm hungry."

Jocelyn blinked, clearly surprised at how short her daughter's attention span was. "It's ready. I made grilled cheese and soup."

"Race you!" Jonathan said to his sister, dashing out of the room.

"No fair!" Clary protested. "You _always _win!"

Simon joined them, dashing behind Clary, his attention shorting out as well. Jocelyn laughed as she picked up the Bible from the floor, carrying it out of the room with her.

"Hey." Simon poked Clary's shoulder as they reached the kitchen. "When I get married to a girl, I want you to be there. You gotta be there, or else I won't get married. Okay?"

Clary was smiling. "Okay," she replied.

* * *

><p>"Just go to the wedding, Clary."<p>

"Easy for _you _to say, Max, you were invited." Clary muttered, handing him a bowl of popcorn.

"They didn't invite you because they thought you hated them." Max pointed out. "In fact, Izzy called me before I came over. She _still _thinks you hate them."

"I never hated them." she sat next to him on her couch, sighing.

"Then why push us all away?"

"Because you all were close to Jace. I wanted absolutely nothing to do with him." Clary stared down at her hands. "I still want nothing to do with him, Max. Do you know what happened?"

"I do." Max said quietly. "But it's been nine years, Clary. Nearly ten. Don't you think you should get over it by now?"

Clary didn't reply. She pressed play on the remote instead, and as the title screen for _The Avengers _popped up, Max spoke again. "I get that you don't want to go, because I know that it will be awkward. But it would mean a lot to Isabelle, and—before I left home, Simon told me to tell you to remember your promise. Whatever that meant."

Clary blinked. "Did he really?"

"Scout's honour." Max answered.

She gave him a sceptical look. "You weren't even a Boy Scout."

He shrugged. "What promise does he mean, anyway?"

"It's from when he and I were six." Clary explained. "I made a promise that I would be at his wedding, or he wouldn't get married. Though I doubt he'd keep his end. He loves Isabelle too much."

"You're still his best friend, Clary."

"He probably hates me for pushing him away."

"He does not. Nobody hates you, Clary."

Clary chewed on her lower lip. "Should I really go to the wedding?"

"_Yes." _Max insisted.

She sighed.

He waited a moment, glancing over at her. "So? Are you going to go to the wedding?"

"Shush," she replied, pointing the remote at the television. "Last I checked, _you _were the one who wanted to watch this movie. So are we going to watch it or not?"

* * *

><p>"It means so much to me that you're doing this." Isabelle admitted, handing Clary the bridesmaid dress. "I thought you'd changed your mind."<p>

"I thought I did, too." Clary sighed, stepping into the bathroom and quickly changing into the dress.

"What stopped you?"

"Max." she said, stepping into the dress. "He convinced me to."

"Since when have you been talking to Max again?" Isabelle sounded surprised.

"Since...oh, a few days ago?" Clary frowned. "He showed up at my apartment. Gave me a belated birthday present. How was I supposed to say no?"

"Nobody can say no to Max," said Isabelle, laughing lightly. Clary cracked a smile. "Well, I'll have to thank him. I'm glad to have my best friend back."

Clary's smile dropped. "Look, Isabelle, I..."

"Oh, my." Isabelle inhaled. Clary had stepped into the doorway, dressed in the gown. "God, Clary, I think I'll have to get you an uglier dress. You'll be the most gorgeous girl in the room."

"Nobody is more gorgeous than you, Isabelle." Clary blushed.

"No, I...I mean it." Isabelle's eyes were full of tears, blinking up at her friend.

"Please don't cry." Clary bit her lip. "If you cry, then I'll cry. And I don't want to cry."

"Sorry. I'm sorry." she wiped at her brown eyes, sniffling slightly. "I know how bad it was, what happened. I don't blame you for wanting to push us all away. But it hurt us as much as it hurt you, Clary. I lost my best friend. And I want her back, whether she likes it or not. And that doesn't mean that you have to talk to Simon, or to Alec, or even to Jace if you don't want. But I _will not _be strangers with my best friend on my wedding day. It's not allowed."

Suddenly, Clary's vision was blurry with tears. She wiped at them furiously, staring down at the ground. "Okay," she said thickly, swallowing. "Okay."

Isabelle flung herself forward, hugging Clary tightly. "Thank you."

"Of course, Isabelle," she whispered, closing her eyes. "Anything for my best friend."

* * *

><p><strong>This story is so damn sad sometimes. Maybe that's because I'm listening to my Adele station on Pandora.<strong>

**P.S. I have a poll on my profile that determines the outcome of this story. I have no clue how to end it, to be honest (A.K.A., whether Clary and Jace should have a realistic ending or a happy, fanfiction-esque one), so I'm deciding to leave it up to my wonderful readers! So please, **_**please**_**, go check that out; otherwise, I can never finish this story! **

**ALSO: I know that you guys don't know the whole puzzle. I know that I haven't told you anything about what really happened, but you'll find out soon, I promise. That's why I'm leaving the poll up until I post the last chapter, so you don't have to vote now. If you want to wait until you find out what really happened, go ahead. If you know your answer now and you know it won't change no matter what, then you can vote now.**

**Just keep in mind, as I told you all in the first chapter, that what Jace did was serious enough to Clary that she attempted suicide. I would _definitely _consider that when you vote for my poll. Thanks, everyone!  
><strong>


	6. five

**Author's Note: I saw Big Hero 6 yesterday—and I sobbed heavily. Three times. Don't judge me.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Five<strong>

_2001_

"So who's your black-haired friend?" Simon commented casually over lunch.

Clary looked up from her salad, which she had been idly stabbing at with her plastic fork. "Huh?"

"Her." he said, jabbing his soup spoon at Isabelle, who was chatting happily with Jace in the lunch line. "Who is she?"

"Oh." Clary said, turning back toward her salad. She stabbed at a piece of lettuce. "That's Isabelle."

"Lightwood? Alec's sister?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"She's in my Spanish class," he informed her Clary, stirring his soup with his spoon. "She waved at me the first day of school and told me that she knew you. But that was it." he nodded at Jace. "Who's he?"

She looked over at Jace and Isabelle again. "Her twin. Jace."

"Twin?" echoed Simon. "They look nothing alike whatsoever."

"I know, right?" Clary mused. She set her fork down. "Their parents both have dark hair and dark eyes, too. Jace is the complete opposite. It's so _strange._"

Simon squinted at her for a while, and then he said, "You like him."

"What?" Clary snapped her eyes away from Jace and Isabelle, locking eyes with her best friend. "I do not."

"Yes, you do," he insisted. "I know that look in your eyes."

"What look?"

"The look you get when you find someone really attractive. I know the look." Simon's smile was teasing and crooked. "Because you'd give it to just about every boy except for me."

"Simon..." Clary started.

"It was a _joke_, Clary, c'mon. Lighten up." he waved a hand, setting his spoon back in his Thermos. "If I can joke about being friendzoned, _you _shouldn't feel bad."

"I'm supposed to feel bad."

"You like Jace."

"No, I don't."

"As long as I meet him before you two date, I'm good." Simon waved a hand, shrugging.

Clary's ears felt hot. _"Simon!"_

"What?" he replied innocently. "I'm just _saying_, Clary."

"He's got a girlfriend, anyway." she mumbled, glancing away. "Kaelie Whitewillow, that girl in our history class."

"Really?" Simon frowned. "Since when."

"Since a few days ago, I think." Clary frowned slightly. "I don't remember exactly."

"Well, he's missing out." he told her, smiling softly. "I mean, _come on._ You're beautiful. Probably the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Clary smiled back at him.

Simon's crooked, teasing grin was back. "Except for maybe Isabelle. Isabelle takes the cake."

* * *

><p>"I just got out of work, like, two minutes ago, but I'll be there as fast as I can," promised Clary, rushing out of Barnes and Noble.<p>

"Take your time." Isabelle promised. "I know you probably don't want to be at this rehearsal dinner anyway."

"Are you kidding? Ever since you told me that Max was the best man instead of Jace, I've wanted nothing _more _than to get this wedding on the road." Clary fished her keys out of her pocket and climbed into her car. "Though I'm surprised—Max and Simon? Best friends?"

"They're both nerds. They have comic books and diatomic molecules to obsess over together," said Isabelle pointedly.

Clary laughed. "True. All right, I'm leaving now. I'll be at the hall in ten minutes."

"All right, Clary. See you then."

"See you," she responded, and then hung up, setting her phone in the passenger's seat before backing out of the Barnes and Noble parking lot.

* * *

><p>Thankfully, dinner rehearsals did <em>not <em>involve dresses.

Clary dashed into the banquet hall, where Isabelle and Simon's reception would be held, and she nearly crashed into Max as she did so.

"Sorry!" she apologised immediately, as Max gripped her shoulders to steady both him and her. "I was running late."

"You're lucky we're friends," Max replied threateningly, but he was grinning widely at her. "I'm glad you're here, Clary."

"Me too." she admitted. "So—where's Izzy?"

"Here!" Isabelle said from behind her, and when Clary turned around, the black-haired girl hugged her tightly. "I'm glad you made it. We're just about to start."

"I still think you're crazy for having a rehearsal dinner but not a rehearsal _wedding." _Clary narrowed her eyes at Isabelle.

"I'm optimistic. And positive that nothing's going to go wrong. We don't need a rehearsal wedding." Isabelle waved her hand, hugging Clary again. "Anyway, let's get seated."

* * *

><p>The rehearsal dinner took about two hours.<p>

"Jace didn't show," said Clary, frowning. "Shouldn't he have been here? It's his sister's wedding, after all."

"It's just the rehearsal dinner." Isabelle replied, shrugging. "I dunno. I think he called beforehand and cancelled. Something about a prior arrangement that he couldn't get out of?"

"And you're _okay _with that?"

"Yeah. I mean, he's my brother, and it sucks that he wasn't here, but he'll be at the wedding tomorrow." she grinned slightly. "And if he's even a second late, I'll kick his ass."

Clary laughed. "God, I'd love to see that."

Isabelle squinted at her friend. "You're not okay with it at all, are you?"

"No." she admitted, sighing. "Still not okay with it. I probably never will be."

"I love him. I do," said Isabelle, biting her lip. "And he's a dick for doing that to you. But...Clary, he regrets it with everything he has. And you know he's going to try and apologise tomorrow."

"I won't let him." Clary shook her head. "I'm sorry, Isabelle. But I can't. You have to understand that."

"I know." Isabelle looked down at the ground. "I'll see you bright and early tomorrow, okay? And if _you're _late, then I'll kick _your _ass, too."

Clary laughed a second time. "Okay, Izzy. I'll be there before you will."

"Sounds good." Isabelle smiled slightly. "Goodnight, Clary."

"'Night, Izzy." Clary responded, and then she left, wiping the tear falling from her eye.

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry it's so short, guys, but next chapter should be a good one! It'll be the wedding and Clary and Jace's first talk in nearly ten years...<strong>

**Who's watching OUAT tonight? It's a special, two-hour episode! I'm so excited; you have **_**no **_**idea.**

**Do you guys want to get me to 200 reviews with this chapter? That'd be fantastic! :D**

**ALSO: A very happy birthday to firequeen8569! Sorry it's not a super long chapter like you'd asked for, but I hope me updating on your birthday is all right! :-)**


	7. six

**Author's Note: Hi! Sorry I haven't updated; last week was insanely crazy, but here's an update for you!**

**P.S. THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR 211 REVIEWS!**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Six<strong>

_2002_

"I look ridiculous." Jace grumbled, pulling at the tie around his neck. "I hate monkey-suits."

"You look fine, Jace." Clary reassured him, smiling slightly. "And thank you for agreeing to come."

"That's what best friends do, don't they?" Jace's eyes lit up as he grinned back at her, holding out his arm. "Though I'm a bit surprised your stepfather made me a groomsman."

"He likes you a lot." Clary hooked her arm through his. "And Luke's kind of a lone wolf, so he doesn't have that many friends, anyway. Hence why you and Simon are both groomsmen—and why my brother's his best man."

"And why Izzy's a bridesmaid, too?"

"My mom doesn't have that many friends, either. Other than your mom."

"Ah. So they're a perfect match."

"Pretty much." she admitted. The chapel doors opened in front of them and they stepped inside, still arm-in-arm.

"You look beautiful, by the way." Jace whispered in her ear, smiling wider as she blushed. "I don't think I've seen you in a dress."

"That's because I hate them." Clary whispered back.

He laughed. "Yeah. I know. They're not your style. But you still look nice in them."

"Thanks, Jace."

"Of course, Clary." Jace pulled his arm from hers and walked to the other side of her stepfather-to-be, smiling at her again a moment later.

The wedding was beautiful. Her mother was beautiful, their vows were beautiful...everything. Clary would be lying if she said she didn't cry a little. And she waved encouragingly at her mother as she rushed out of the chapel with Luke at her side, as Mr. and Mrs. Graymark.

And the reception was loud, festive, and all-around happy. Even though Clary wasn't the maid of honour, she still gave a speech for her mother and for Luke. Luke was a good man for her mother, and Clary was extremely fond of him. He would take care of her.

"Care to dance?" inquired Jace, holding his hand out to Clary. She noted that his tie was loose around his neck, and his grin was carefree and a little lopsided.

"I'll break your toes," she warned him, but she took his hand and let him lead her to the dance floor.

"No, you won't." Jace smiled at her, putting his hands on her waist as they swayed.

"So...how are you and Aline?" Clary bit her lip.

"We're good." he answered, smiling slightly. "Yeah. She wasn't all that happy about me coming here, though."

"Understandable." she sighed. "She hates me."

"She doesn't _hate _you, Clary."

"Yes, she does. You know it. You just don't want to admit it."

Jace frowned at her. "Are you okay? You seem a little...off."

"I'm just...upset that my best friend's girlfriend hates me," she lied. Her heart was pounding. She was heavily aware of his hands on her hips and how she wanted nothing more than to kiss him.

"If anything, Clary, she's jealous of you." Jace commented, spinning her around.

"Of _me_?"

"Yes, you." he smiled slightly. "You're awesome. You just don't realise it because your frizzy hair blocks your vision."

Clary punched his arm, and instead of grimacing in pain, Jace threw his head back and laughed, pulling her close again as they danced. "There's my best friend back."

"Shut up, Lightwood." she grumbled. "Or I really _will _break your toes."

* * *

><p>"Isabelle, you look absolutely gorgeous." Clary said reassuringly, smiling at her friend as the black-haired girl in front of her spun hesitantly. "And Simon loves you no matter what."<p>

"I'm _so _nervous, Clary," admitted Isabelle, wringing her hands together. Clary could tell she was biting on the inside of her cheek. "And I'm so nervous for you, too! What am I supposed to do?"

Clary's eyebrows furrowed. "Why are you nervous for me?"

"You'll be seeing Jace for the first time! He'll try to talk to you! You told me you're not ready for that! What if—"

"_Isabelle." _Clary interrupted, putting her hands on Isabelle's shoulders. "First of all, this is _your _day. So don't you dare worry about me in any way, shape, or form."

"Okay." Isabelle exhaled, nodding. "Okay."

"And second of all, you don't need to be worried. I don't even know what you're worried _about. _Simon's out there, waiting, and more than wanting you to be his wife."

Isabelle inhaled and then exhaled. "Right. Okay. I'm ready."

"Good." Clary beamed at her. "No cold feet, then?"

"No."

"Awesome." her smile widened. "Then let's get this show on the road, okay?"

* * *

><p>Clary walked into the ballroom being used as the reception area, Max at her side. The room was already full of people—friends and family of both Isabelle and Simon—but after doing a short sweep of heads (as best as she could despite her shortness), she saw that Jace wasn't in the room yet.<p>

"Good so far?" Max nudged her arm.

"Yeah." Clary answered, turning to look at him. "So—how's your best man speech?"

"It's decent." he grimaced.

"So you started it last night?"

"Yup."

Clary cracked a smile. "My maid of honour speech isn't much to go on, either. Though I'm really surprised it took Simon ten years to propose."

"Well, he was definitely more than scared she'd say no. And if we're being honest, Isabelle hinted at it first." Max told her. "It was roughly a year ago, and Isabelle was definitely drunk off her ass at her own birthday party. Simon told me what happened after we all left—she flat out told him to propose to her."

"That sounds like Isabelle."

"Oh, yeah. And although she claims to not remember anything about that night, I have a feeling she totally does."

She laughed. "That _also _sounds like Isabelle. Which is odd, because she was freaking out before the wedding."

"Despite my sister's good looks and how every boy wanted to be with her, Isabelle's only long-term relationship is and was with Simon." Max fixed his tie. "She's not used to commitment. She was nervous."

"Runs in the family," muttered Clary under her breath.

Max's expression softened. "You know, I think Isabelle would understand if you wanted to leave before Jace got here."

"I can't." she answered, shaking her head. "I won't leave. Maybe this will be good for me. Just...do me a favour, Max, okay?"

"Of course."

"If you're ever in a relationship and _you _feel like you can't handle it, don't get drunk and make your girlfriend feel like worse than nothing."

"Of course, Clary," he said, biting his lip. Max watched her as she turned on her heel and headed to the large table at the end of the room.

* * *

><p>Both Clary and Max gave their speeches and were rewarded with a teary-eyed Isabelle, a grateful-looking Simon, and a giant round of applause from the guests. It was absolutely beautiful. Clary had already waved to Eric and said a brief hello to Robert and Maryse.<p>

Clary's feet ached. She'd been dancing with Max for the past hour, laughing harder than she'd ever laughed before.

It was during the father-daughter dance when a hand tapped her shoulder. "Hey, Clary."

She turned around and found Simon standing in front of her, a lopsided, hesitant grin on his mouth. "I'm glad you came."

"Me, too," said Clary quietly, biting her lip. "Max reminded me."

"About the wedding?"

"About my promise to you."

"Ah." Simon nodded, watching as his wife swayed with Robert. "You forgot it?"

"I didn't think it would apply to me anymore."

He reached out and slung his arm around her shoulders, like he used to do when they were teenagers. "It always applied to you, Clary. You and no one else."

"I'm sorry." she replied, her voice quiet.

"You've got nothing to apologise for." Simon nudged her with his hip, smiling. "When Izzy and I get back from our honeymoon, you and I are spending a whole day playing Mario Kart."

"And I'll still kick your ass at it." Clary answered, grinning back as Simon threw his head back and laughed.

"You haven't changed in the past nine years, have you?"

"Eh. Not game-wise."

Simon laughed again, but it stopped as he turned around, his hand falling from around Clary's shoulders.

Other couples had started to gather on the dance floor, including Alec and Magnus, and Eric and a girl he'd recently been seeing. Robert had let go of his daughter and was now moving to Maryse, while Isabelle reached for Max with a wide smile on her face.

"Dude, not now." Simon's voice was strong.

Clary turned around, frowning.

"Clary." Jace's golden eyes locked with hers. Simon was glaring at him, but the blond-haired man was unfazed. "Would you like to dance? I think we need to talk."

* * *

><p><strong>DUN DUN DUUUUUUN. :D<strong>

**Hey! Happy Thanksgiving if you celebrate it! Eat your lil hearts out, but don't get sick and throw it up. Also, happy Supernatural Tuesday!**

**Review!**


	8. seven

**Author's Note: I wish I had something interesting to say here, but I don't. I'm just a boring person.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Seven<strong>

_2002_

"So...Homecoming's in a couple weeks." Jace mused as he walked beside Clary.

"Yup." she agreed. "Are you going to ask Aline?"

He snorted. "No _way_."

"Aren't you two together?" she stopped walking, turning to frown at him. "You were just together at my mom's wedding."

"That was in May, and it's August." Jace pointed out. "Also, we broke up in June. See, you'd know these things if you'd spent the summer here."

"It's not my fault I had to go to my dad's in California." Clary rolled her eyes. "Anyway—_what? _Why didn't you text me about it or something?"

"Mom took my phone away." he reminded her. "But yeah. Aline and I broke up because she cheated on me with Helen Blackthorn."

Clary's eyes were wide. "No. Way."

"Yes way." Jace looked embarrassed. "So...yeah. That happened."

"Would it be bad if I laughed?"

"Yes. Yes, it would."

"Damn." Clary sighed teasingly, continuing to walk. They were almost at her house now, where they'd work together on their first project of sophomore year. "Well, I'm sorry about that."

"Eh." Jace shrugged, readjusting his backpack. "I'm over it."

There was a pause where Clary didn't say anything and neither did Jace. And then—

"So, do you want to go to Homecoming with me?"

Clary nearly choked on her own spit. Jace asked it so casually, glancing over at her as they continued to walk. "Wait, what?"

"Do you want to go to the Homecoming dance with me?" Jace repeated, putting his hand on her shoulder to stop her. Jace faced her, a lopsided grin on his face. "You know, like, as my date."

"A-as your date?"

"Yes, Clary." Jace laughed. "As my date."

"Uh—yeah." Clary's face was red. "Yeah, I'd love to. Though I'm just warning you—I can't dance."

Jace laughed a second time. "That's okay. We can just stand and sway. You can do that, right?"

"Uh...yeah. Of course."

* * *

><p>"I don't dance." Clary said immediately.<p>

Jace's eyes were still on hers as he took a step forward. He was closer to her than Clary wanted him to be. "Yes, you do. I can tell you all the times I've seen you dance."

"I don't dance with _you_ anymore." she corrected herself, and she watched as hurt flashed though his eyes. Clary wasn't sorry.

But she did feel a small pang of regret at the guilty expression on his face.

"I get it," said Jace quietly. "I know. I'm a douche. I've been told over and over. But I just want to _talk _to you, Clary. Please."

"The last time you talked to me, it didn't end well. Don't you remember?" The words flew out of Clary's mouth.

"You can't hold me responsible for that, Clary." he stepped forward again. "I was—"

"Drunk?" Clary finished the sentence for him. "That's no excuse. You can do conscious things when you're intoxicated, Jace. Being drunk doesn't change your entire opinion on someone."

Jace opened his mouth again to say something, but was interrupted by Max, who jogged up to the three of them. Simon all-but exhaled in relief when the youngest Lightwood glanced between Jace and Clary, his grey eyes widening a fraction.

"Clary, I do believe you owe me a dance." Max said slowly, turning toward Clary.

"You danced with her for nearly an hour already." Jace answered his brother.

"I'd rather dance with him than you." Clary retorted. "My answer is no, Jace, and it will stay like that until the day I die. Nothing you could attempt to say would change my mind."

"Just let it go." Simon told the blond.

Max tugged on Clary's hand like an impatient child. When she looked over at him, he jerked his head toward where Robert and Isabelle were finishing up their dance, which meant that Isabelle would find Simon in a heartbeat and immediately know what was going on.

"I need some air." Clary murmured to him. "Be right back."

Max let go of her hand. "Okay." he replied, biting his lip.

The reassuring smile on Clary's lips died the moment she left the reception room.

* * *

><p>"I just <em>knew <em>persuading you to come to the wedding was a bad idea. Especially when you didn't want to go in the first place." Isabelle sat down on the bench next to Clary and sighed unhappily, twisting the wedding ring on her finger. "I'm an awful friend."

"No, you aren't." Clary responded, shaking her head. "If I really hadn't wanted to go, I wouldn't have. It's not your fault."

"Yes, it is," said Isabelle, looking down. "It's my fault. I was the one who pushed Jace to ask you out in the first place."

"I was the one who said yes to him." Clary nudged her shoulder. "Isabelle, seriously. I'm okay. I just...I'm doubtful."

Isabelle's dark eyebrows pinched together. "Of what?"

"Am I overreacting? _Did _I overreact?" Clary sighed, tugging on the loose strand of hair falling from her up-do. "Was what Jace said to me even that bad?"

"Are you kidding?" Isabelle turned on the bench, facing Clary as best as she could. "No. You are not overreacting. Jace said awful things to you and quite frankly, I would have tried to kill myself too, if I had been in your shoes."

Clary just shook her head. "Maybe I was just stupid."

"You were eighteen, Clary, of course you were stupid." Isabelle smiled faintly. "And I get the whole staying away from us thing. You needed a break. I understand that now."

Clary didn't answer.

Isabelle reached over and squeezed her friend's hand comfortingly. "Sure, it sucks that we missed out on nine years of each other's lives. But I'm glad you're in mine again. People make mistakes, Clary. That's what we _do._ And Jace made a big one. I love my brother, but what he did was not okay. I've told you that before. He made you feel worthless, Clary."

"I can't forgive him, Isabelle. Not just like that." Clary was shaking her head.

"I never said you had to." Isabelle said softly. "And in all honesty, I don't want you to. If you forgive him, you might just fall in love with him again. And you shouldn't love him after what he did."

She stood up, straightening her wedding dress as she did so. "I'm going to go back in. Are you good out here?"

Clary nodded.

Isabelle gave her another smile and went back inside.

Since they'd become best friends all those years ago, Clary had depended on Isabelle for advice. Isabelle knew how to give the best advice in the worst situations, and what she'd just said was extremely true. Clary couldn't forgive Jace anytime soon; she knew that for sure. But in the future? Clary would be around him a lot more than she had been.

"You don't have to worry about me falling in love with Jace, Isabelle." Clary said to herself, sighing as she stood up. "Because I don't think I ever stopped."

* * *

><p><strong>Blah. It's been so long since I updated that I think everyone's OOC in this chapter. Oh, well.<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed! I'm so sorry about the late update, truly, and I hope this makes up for it. Also, I'm working on a potential two or three shot, and I'll give you a few hint keywords: Clace, snow, library. Any guesses on what it's about? :D**

**Please review and let me know if this chapter is okay! And if anyone wants to PM me about OUAT, SPN, or Agents of SHIELD when the episodes come on in the next few days, go ahead! 'Cause these episodes are going to be bumpy. (or Sherlock, because I just finished series 3 and WOW.)**

**P.S. I am absolutely blown away by the amount of reviews from last chapter. You guys are freaking insane. I love you all.**


	9. eight

**Author's Note: Blaaaah. I need to get back into updating this dang story, but finals are this week and last week was packed. Hopefully winter break will get me on track. Thank you all for keeping up with me. X **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eight<strong>

_2002_

"I need _details!" _urged Isabelle, all-but pouncing on Clary the minute she arrived at the Morgenstern (well, now, the _Graymark_) home. "Tell me everything! Where did you guys go?"

"Calm _down, _Izzy." Clary was blushing furiously, shutting the door behind her best friend. Her first date with Jace had been Friday night, and now it was Saturday night, and Isabelle had insisted on coming over to hear every _minute _detail of the date.

"I will not calm down!" Isabelle insisted. "You went on a date with my brother. My _twin _brother. You have to tell me everything!"

"Do you want something to drink?" she inquired, opening the fridge.

"Stop changing the subject!"

"I'm not, Izzy, I'm just being a good host."

Isabelle sighed, almost pouting. "Yes. Water, please."

Clary filled a glass with water and handed it to her friend. "Okay, fine. I'll answer your questions. What do you want to know?"

"Where did you guys go?" she asked again, her dark eyes shining.

"We went to a movie." Clary was blushing. "The second Harry Potter movie."

"That sounds like a movie Simon would take a girl to, not Jace." Isabelle's nose wrinkled slightly, but it was gone when she started speaking again. "But I know you liked the first one, so the fact that he took you to a movie he knew you'd be interested in even if he wasn't was sweet."

"I think you're over-analysing this." Clary told her, and then continued: "After that, we went to dinner at Taki's Diner."

"Not fancy; that's good after a casual movie." Isabelle mused, and then added a sheepish, "Sorry," after Clary gave her a glare. "Continue."

"We ate, and then he drove me home."

"Did he kiss you?"

Clary's heavy blush gave Isabelle her answer. "He _did!" _she gasped, beaming brightly. "Oh, my _God_, Clary!"

"It's not a big deal!" Clary protested, pushing her best friend's shoulder.

"Was it your first kiss?" inquired the dark-haired girl enthusiastically. "If not, then who _was _your first kiss?"

"All _right, _Isabelle, this conversation is over." Clary stood up, glaring at her friend. Her face was still a bright red. "We're watching movies tonight. And we're starting with _The Avengers."_

"That's Max's favourite movie, not mine." Isabelle answered, her nose wrinkling.

Clary pulled the DVD from the case. "You just put me through the most awkward conversation in my entire life. We are watching this movie."

* * *

><p>"So." Clary mused, sitting across from Isabelle at a booth in Taki's Diner. "How was your honeymoon?"<p>

Isabelle's skin was tanner than it usually was, and she was wearing a heavier coat than normal. "It was great." she admitted, her smile blindingly large. "We went to Spain, and it really helped that Simon's favourite language happens to be Spanish, because I know absolutely none."

She laughed. "Well, I'm glad you had fun. I missed you."

"I missed you, too." Isabelle answered, reaching over and squeezing her friend's hand. "Tell me about what I missed. We were cell phone free for about two weeks."

"Nothing much, actually." Clary shrugged. "I sketched a bit, Max came over, and...we missed you guys."

"Sounds boring." the dark-haired girl's nose wrinkled. "I'm glad I left."

Clary laughed a second time. "You better be. Otherwise, I'd find a way to turn back time and go instead of you."

It made Clary feel happy as she and Isabelle laughed together, sitting in the old diner where they used to go as high schoolers, talking and catching up after two weeks.

"So..." said Clary, leaning back against the back of her booth after their laughter died down. "Are you pregnant yet?"

Isabelle spit out the water she was drinking. Thankfully, it went straight into her napkin. "Excuse me?" she coughed, wiping her mouth with her sleeve.

"Oh, come on." Clary waved a hand, grinning at her red-faced friend. "You always talked about having a big family when we were teenagers, and now you've got the opportunity to have one. I want to be a godmother, Isabelle!"

"You'll be their _aunt, _too, Clary." Isabelle pointed out. Her face was still red, but not as bright. "Their favourite aunt."

"I don't know, Izzy. Rebecca's pretty hard to top."

"Well, I think you'd top Rebecca any day."

Clary stirred her pasta around her fork. "Thanks."

Isabelle's smile was warm. "No problem, Clary."

They ate in silence for a little while. Clary was focused on seeing how many noodles she could twirl on her fork before they fell off when Isabelle said, "Remember when Jace took you here on your first date?"

"I don't want to talk about Jace, Izzy." Clary said softly, biting the inside of her lip. "And...besides; technically, Homecoming was our first date."

That made Isabelle smile slightly, but she said, "I just want you to be happy, Clary. And you were really happy with Jace."

"Except for—"

"That night when he blew it all to Hell and we almost lost you?" Isabelle interrupted her, leaving Clary's mouth hanging open. "Yes. You bring it up enough times, Clary, and I know it was bad. But...spending these last two weeks with Simon got me thinking. I _love _Simon."

"I should hope so." Clary muttered.

Isabelle kicked her lightly under the table. "Let me finish," she chided. "Look. Yes, I love Simon, like I just said. And what I realised was that nothing could make me stop loving him. No matter if he said the same things to me as Jace did to you, or if he cheated on me. I love Simon as a person, and we all make mistakes, and I'll love him no matter how many mistakes he'll make. And I know you loved Jace once, and there's not a doubt in my mind that you still love him. It's not an easily fixable relationship, for sure—but with the right amount of time, I think you could put it behind you."

Clary stared. She blinked. And then she demanded, "Who the hell are you and what have you done with Isabelle Lightwood?"

"Isabelle _Lewis." _Isabelle corrected. She was beaming. "And be honest. That was some damn good advice."

"That was...deep." Clary answered. "Have you been hanging around Simon's poetry friends again?"

"Funny, but no. That was my own advice straight from my heart."

"Well, you should become a counsellor or a therapist or have your own talk show or advice column in a newspaper or something." said Clary, tying her hair back into a ponytail.

"_Honestly_, Clary." Isabelle exhaled, but she was grinning. "I missed this."

"Me too. I missed my best friend." Clary smiled back. "Even though I didn't really get Isabelle Lightwood back."

Isabelle's eyebrows furrowed.

"I got Isabelle _Lewis." _Clary pointed out, and she and Isabelle once again burst into a fit of laughter.

* * *

><p><strong>Heeeeey! Look who updated! Talk about a Christmas present ;-)<strong>

**I hope you enjoyed this update, guys! I'm sorry it took so long, and hopefully the next update won't take as long...**


	10. nine

**Author's Note: Hello! I apologise for my late update; I've been watching **_**Friends**_** since it came on Netflix.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Nine<strong>

_2003_

"I've always wanted to see Chicago." Jonathan mused, walking arm-and-arm through the streets of the Windy City with his sister.

"Me too," agreed Clary, looking up at the skyscrapers. "Just not in the summer. My hair is frizzing up worse than it does in New York." she pulled her arm out of Jonathan's and tied her hair back into a ponytail.

"You love it."

"No, I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"Do _not_."

"Do too!"

"Isn't this great?" Jocelyn said sarcastically from behind her two children. "Our first family vacation with Luke in a city we've never been to before, and you two are already bickering."

"We're not siblings without bickering, Mom." Jonathan told her. "Besides—"

Clary was too busy looking over her shoulder at her mother to realise that she'd bumped into someone at first. With a yelp, she stopped walking, her hands shooting out to steady the person in front of her.

She blinked. "Wait. Jace?"

"Clary?" her boyfriend frowned. "You didn't tell me you were going to Chicago!"

"Well, you didn't tell me either!" Clary laughed, hugging him tightly. "Hey! Are you here with your family?"

"Yeah." Jace pulled back and smiled at someone over her shoulder. "And you're here with yours, I see. Hi, Mrs. Graymark. Mr. Graymark. Jon."

"Hey, Jace." Jocelyn smiled kindly. "How are you?"

"I'm good, thanks. And you?"

"I'm good, thank you."

Jace smiled again, looking back at Clary. "I should be catching up with Izzy and Alec, actually. When are you guys leaving?"

"Thursday." she responded.

"Okay." Jace leaned forward and kissed her softly. "Text me. Maybe—if you have time—we could hang out a little bit. If not, then I'll see you back in New York."

Clary nodded, hugging him again. "See you later, Jace."

"You too, babe." Jace kissed her forehead and walked past her, shoving his hands in his pockets and smiling.

Clary looked up at her parents and brother and found them staring at her. "What?" she blushed.

"Oh, nothing." Jocelyn was grinning. "I'm just glad that you're happy, Clary. Extremely happy."

"But if he breaks your heart, I'll break his face." Jonathan added, and he laughed when Clary punched his arm.

* * *

><p>Clary squatted next to the bookshelf and unloaded the twelve copies of the children's book onto the last shelf. Just ten more minutes until her shift was over, and she'd <em>finally <em>be able to check the messages from Simon and Isabelle on her phone. Whatever it was, it must have been important enough for both of them to call.

She sighed.

"Uh, excuse me, miss? I was wondering what kind of children's book I could give to my sister. See, she's—Clary?"

Clary looked up and froze. Staring down at her was Jace, his tawny eyes wide.

"Uh..." Clary pushed the last book into the shelf and stood up, brushing her hands on her jeans. "Hi."

"Hey." Jace bit his lip.

"So—what about a children's book?" she asked, looking up at him.

"Uh...I don't know if I should tell you. That's Izzy and Simon's news. I'll just get someone else to help me." Jace said quietly, putting his hands in his pockets.

Clary blinked at him. "She's pregnant, isn't she?"

"Yup."

"They both left me a message; that must be what they called for." she smiled broadly. "That's amazing. You're going to be an uncle. Congrats."

"Thanks. Uh—you too." Jace smiled back.

"I won't be an aunt."

"Yes, you will. You're practically Simon's sister _and _you're Izzy's best friend. You'll be the baby's aunt—if not his favourite." he nudged her arm. "So...would you be willing to help me find a children's book?"

"Yeah. I can do that." Clary nodded. She led him to the baby book section. "Um, so if you want a traditional book, you could go with a Dr. Seuss book or _Goodnight Moon_ or something like that."

She continued to point out different books, and Jace continued to suggest others, and it was almost cute how clueless he was about all-things baby. And nervous, too—she knew he was nervous about being an uncle the minute she brought up finding a nice book for him to be able to read to his niece or nephew.

"I—uh, yeah, that would be good." Jace rubbed the back of his neck.

"You'll make a great uncle, you know." Clary stared down at _Where the Wild Things Are_. She was grasping the book tightly. "You shouldn't be worrying."

"Thanks." Jace said quietly. He looked over at her. "Look, Clary, I want to talk to—"

"I don't want to hear it." she interrupted, finally looking up at him. "I'm helping you find a book because that's my job. And I can pretend that things are okay when we're in public or around Simon and Izzy because you and I both know this is not the last time we'll be around each other. But as for fixing things—I can't, Jace. I can't and I probably won't."

Jace didn't answer, but he looked away from her and instead he looked at the book in her hands. "I—" he cut himself off and cleared his throat, starting again. "I think this is the one."

"Okay." Clary held it out to him. "Here, then."

"Thanks." he bit his lip.

"No problem." she responded. Her phone beeped. Looking down, Clary saw the alarm on her phone flashing. "And that's the end of my shift. So if you need any more help, find another worker."

"Clary—" Jace reached for her arm.

"Don't." Clary said quietly, stepping back, and she walked away before he could say another word.

* * *

><p><strong>Once again, I'm so sorry about the wait. I wish I could have sped this up, but I wasn't really sure where to take this, but I figured we needed something a little bigger than a filler chapter, don't you think?<strong>

**I'm not sure how many chapters this will be, but it won't be as long as Project Marriage. Hopefully I'll try to update by the end of this week, but with school starting on Tuesday, I'm not sure if I'll be able to. **

**In the meantime, I've got a new one-shot out if you'd like to read something. And soon (hopefully, so don't take my word for this), I should have another one out, too.**

**See you guys next chapter, by the way!**


	11. ten

**Author's Note: This story is the bane of my existence. I love it so, **_**so **_**much, but I can never get myself around to starting a new chapter. Ugh.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Ten<strong>

_2004_

"Do you think Jace is cheating on me?"

The words flew out of Clary's mouth before she could stop them, and she watched as Isabelle's eyes went wide and as the rice in her mouth promptly fell out back into her carton of fried rice.

"Ew," said Clary, wrinkling her nose. "Izzy, that's gross."

"You think Jace is _cheating _on you?" Isabelle demanded, setting down her Chinese. "Are you insane? Have you officially gone crazy?"

"Of course not." Clary responded. She stirred her noodles around with her chopsticks. "I just...he's been really distant lately. I don't know if it's just because of the pressure of senior year or if I'm just being overly annoying or if I'm just imaging things or if he really is cheating on me and I just can't see it."

"Don't be stupid, Clary." Isabelle chided, but her voice was soft. "Jace loves you. I've never seen him love someone as much as he loves you. There's no way in hell that he's cheating on you."

Clary sighed. "Are you sure? You would tell me if he really was, wouldn't you?"

"Of course I would. You're my best friend."

"But he's your brother."

"I gave him the whole 'You hurt her, I'll kill you' speech when you first started dating." Isabelle told her. "Yes, I would tell you. Jace may be my brother, but you're my best friend, and cheating is wrong, no matter who's doing it."

Clary stirred her noodles again. "I'm just paranoid."

"You are," agreed her dark-haired friend. "But it's all right. Everyone's paranoid at some point. My mom was paranoid about it—but it turned out that she was paranoid for the right reason."

"Your dad cheated on your mom?" Clary's eyes were wide. "What? When?"

"Before Max was born." Isabelle said casually. "Apparently, Dad was going to leave Mom for the woman he was cheating on her with. But then Mom told him she was pregnant with Max, and he decided to stay."

"That's awful."

"They're both over it." the dark-haired girl shrugged, still nonchalant. It was amazing to watch Isabelle talk about it so carelessly, like it didn't bother her. Clary wondered to herself how long Isabelle had known about her father's affair. "Mom shouldn't have forgiven him, in my opinion, but she loved him. She still does. And to my mom, love overcomes anything."

* * *

><p>Isabelle's pregnancy flew by. Before Clary knew it, her best friend was swollen almost everywhere and she complained all the time. Simon only smiled at his wife when she told him flat-out that it was all his fault that she was like this.<p>

And Isabelle wasn't even in labour yet. Clary couldn't wait to see what kind of things she'd yell at Simon then.

Things were getting better. Max started coming over more often, and together, he and Clary would watch Marvel movies. Magnus and Alec were still together (but not yet engaged, though they casually and calmly brought up marriage in conversation like they were) and they were living in Magnus's home. And Jace...was still Jace.

Clary had seen him numerous times. She'd even talked to him. She'd even laughed at a few of his jokes. It was less awkward around him most of the time—excluding right now.

She tapped a rhythm out on the wooden table in front of her. She was meeting Simon and Isabelle for lunch, and Jace had been invited too, but he was as early as she was and so they sat down together in the booth, both on the same side. Their shoulders and upper arms were pressed together.

"So..." Clary trailed off. As much as she didn't want to start a conversation that might lead to him asking for her forgiveness, she hated the silence more. "What do you think Isabelle and Simon want?"

"Not entirely sure." Jace answered. He traced the pattern of the table with his forefinger. "I thought I knew Isabelle, but since she got pregnant, she's been all kinds of unpredictable."

"Pregnant Isabelle is by far the scariest Isabelle I've seen." Clary decided, and Jace laughed lightly.

"That's absolutely true." he said. "Even Simon's afraid of her."

"He's got every right to." Clary answered. "Isabelle hates the stretch marks she's got and she hates that the baby kicks hard. She blames Simon for it. Have you imagined what she'll be screaming at him while she's in labour?"

"Have I?" Jace turned to look at her, surprised. "I've actually considered asking a nurse to record it."

It was Clary's turn to laugh.

"Clary," said Jace, his tone suddenly serious. He was speaking carefully. "I—"

"Hey! We're so sorry!" Isabelle's voice said from behind them. She looked apologetic as she and Simon slid into the other side of the booth—Simon on the inside, Isabelle on the end. "There was traffic on the way here and we'd left home a little later than planned."

"No worries." Jace answered. Though his smile was warm and easy, his eyes looked troubled. Frustrated, even. Clary frowned. "How are you?"

"Don't get me started." Simon muttered, mimicking his wife in a high-pitched voice that sounded nothing like her. Isabelle whacked his arm with a glare and Clary cracked up, not finding it surprising at all that Jace was laughing beside her too.

"Fine." Isabelle was glaring at Clary and Jace as well as her husband. "I guess you guys don't get to be the godparents then, if you're going to make fun of me."

"We didn't make fun of you, Isabelle. We only laughed at Simon because his imitation of you was very unrealistic and—wait. Godparents?"

"_Yes_, godparents." Isabelle rolled her dark eyes. "That's why we called you two here."

"You want us to be the godparents?" Clary stared at Isabelle.

"Of course we do." Simon said, smiling slightly. "We couldn't think of anyone better."

"Gee, thanks." Jace said sarcastically.

Isabelle rolled her eyes again. "Not like that, idiot. There's nobody better than you two to take care of our child if something were to happen to us."

"Thank you, Isabelle." Clary nudged Jace before he could say something sarcastic again. "And Simon."

"Yeah. Thanks." Jace said, clearing his throat, but when Clary looked at him, he looked absolutely touched.

"We love you guys." Isabelle said, smiling, and then she sniffled, reaching up to wipe her eyes.

Jace stared at her. "My God, Isabelle, are you _crying?"_

"No," snapped Isabelle, "I'm just...allergic."

"To what? The air?"

"Oh, shut up, Jace. I'm pregnant and I'm allowed to cry." Isabelle muttered, kicking her brother under the table. His face contorted with pain for a second and then it was gone. "So...yeah. That was the big news. Congrats, you two. You're gonna be godparents when this little baby is born."

"What are you hoping for?" Clary inquired.

"Girl." Simon said. "Isabelle thinks so, too."

"Well, if my opinion counts for anything, I'm hoping that you two are going to have a boy." Jace commented, leaning back against the booth cushion. "So have a boy."

"Did you make a bet with Alec or something?" Clary stared at him oddly, and she rolled her eyes when his sheepish smile appeared. "You _did_."

"Alec brought the idea up!" Jace said, holding his hands up in defense. Isabelle glared at her brother. "He's betting on a girl, and I'm betting on a boy, and Magnus is betting on a girl, and Max is betting on a boy—"

"Who's all in this bet?" Isabelle interrupted.

"Me, Alec, Magnus, Max, Mom, Dad—"

"_Mom and Dad?_" Isabelle sounded surprised.

"—and Simon." Jace finished, adding the last name reluctantly.

Simon swallowed. "Oops," he said. "I love you, Isabelle."

"Sure." Isabelle responded. "Sure you do, Simon."

Her glare was even scarier when she was pregnant. Simon all-but shrunk back against the wall, and he opened his mouth to say something when Isabelle made a noise, putting her hands on her stomach.

"Izzy?" said Clary, Jace, and Simon at the same time. They all sounded worried.

"Honey, what is it? Are you okay?" Simon put his hand on her arm.

"Uh..." Isabelle looked down, and then she slid out of the booth. Simon looked down to where she had just been sitting and he froze, his eyes widening.

"_What?_" Jace asked. His eyes were wide, too, and Clary was sliding out of the booth to see for herself what Simon was staring at when Isabelle answered:

"My water just broke."

* * *

><p><strong>Yaay! I'm so glad I finished this chapter. I hope you guys liked it!<strong>

**P.S. For those of you who read Trains, I posted the epilogue for that **_**and **_**the alternate ending one-shot if you guys wanna read those! And another new oneshot called Designated Driver that I'm pretty fond of.**

**ALSO: I am nominated for a favourite author thing on tmifanfiction's blog on Tumblr! I'd love it if you guys would vote; I'm putting the link on my profile. If it doesn't show up right away, refresh it a couple hours later and vote if you'd be so kind!**

**I know I say this every time, but I'll hopefully try to update soon. In the meantime, watch The Flash, Supernatural, and Arrow on Tuesday and Wednesday. Hehe. **

**Or reread The Mortal Instruments, which is what I'm doing right now. I'm on City of Fallen Angels, but I left my books at home and I'm out of town until tomorrow so I have to wait until tomorrow night to keep reading. D:**


	12. eleven

**Author's Note: I'm actually getting back into the swing of things! Yay!**

**P.S. This chapter is where it gets good, guys. Both in the flashbacks and in what's going on in present time.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Eleven<strong>

_2005_

Clary's paranoia wouldn't disappear.

It'd been at least half a year since she brought it up to Isabelle; they were graduating from high school now—actually, their graduation had been last week. Summer had begun. In the fall, Isabelle, Simon, and Jace would all be college students.

As for Clary...she didn't apply to colleges. She had no clue what she wanted to do with her life. She was dedicated to her art, but...she wasn't sure if she wanted to go to an art school. And there was time; Clary didn't have to go to school in fall. She could wait. There were plenty of jobs to pick up and Luke and her mother had already assured her that she could stay at home as long as she wanted to.

"Isabelle, I just...I don't know." Clary sighed, pacing the floor of her bedroom as she held her phone up to her ear. "I don't know why I still think he's cheating on me. There's no way that he is."

"Then just tell yourself that." Isabelle's voice was calm, but Clary could tell that the black-haired girl was exhausted with having this conversation. Setting her phone on her dresser, Clary put her phone on speaker and sifted through her closet for a sweatshirt to throw on. "You _know _I would tell you. I'm absolutely certain that he's not cheating on you."

Clary sighed. "Okay, fine. He's not cheating on me."

Isabelle exhaled with relief.

"But what if he does when he goes off to college?" Clary pulled off her sweater. She reached for an old sweatshirt of her brother's that was comfy despite being three sizes too big.

"Clary." Isabelle said sternly. "Stop. You're overthinking this. You're freaking out."

"I can't help it, Isabelle."

Isabelle sighed heavily. "Okay. Fine. Do you love Jace?"

Clary froze in the midst of putting on her sweatshirt. "What?"

"Do you love my brother?"

The redhead pulled the sweatshirt over her head and tied her curly hair back into a ponytail. "What kind of question is that, Isabelle?"

"Just answer it."

"Of course I love him."

"Good." Isabelle agreed. "Now—do you trust him?"

"Isabelle—" Clary started.

"Answer the question." the black-haired girl interrupted.

Clary sighed again. She bit her lip as she tucked a loose curl behind her ear and she said, "I...I don't know."

There was a noise of protest from her doorway. Turning, Clary's heart plummeted into her stomach.

"_Oh._" Clary felt sick to her stomach.

"Clary? What is it?" Isabelle sounded worried. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." Clary responded. Her eyes were still locked on Jace, whose expression was heartbreaking as he stared right back at her. "I just...I forgot Jace was coming over tonight."

"Jace?" demanded Isabelle. "Oh, my God, Clary. Is he there right now?"

Clary didn't answer. She hung up instead and turned back to her boyfriend. Her heart was starting to pound rapidly. "How much of that did you hear?"

"Enough." Jace answered. His jaw was set and his eyes were hurt, and his hands were balled into fists at his sides. "Enough to know that even though you love me, you think I'm cheating on you and you don't even trust me."

"I don't think you're cheating on me." Clary said hurriedly. "I—I did earlier, when we first started senior year—"

Jace stared at her. "You've thought I was cheating on you since the beginning of _senior year_?"

Clary didn't answer.

"I don't get it, Clary."

"Don't get what?" her voice was small.

"How we can be in a relationship if you don't trust me. And now I don't even know what to think about you anymore." Jace was shaking his head.

"No." Clary started to walk toward him. "No, Jace, please. I was stupid—I wasn't thinking—I _do _trust you, I—"

"Save it for someone who cares." Jace responded, and his voice was so cold that Clary froze where she stood. He turned around and he slammed the door to her bedroom loudly. She could hear her mother asking him what was wrong before Jace slammed the front door too.

Clary started crying. The tears spilled down her cheeks as she sank to her knees, burying her face in the large sleeves of Jonathan's sweatshirt.

She had no idea how long she stayed there for until her phone rang and she scrambled to pick it up. Clary had been sitting on the floor for two hours, and the person who was calling her was Jace.

She pressed the accept button and held the phone to her ear. "Jace? Oh, God, Jace, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have thought you were cheating on me, because it was stupid—"

"No, it wasn't." Jace responded. His words were a little slurred. Was he drunk? Clary remembered that he had a fake ID. "Because I actually am cheating on you."

"Wh-what?" Clary's eyes widened.

The loud laugh of a girl filled her ears from the other line. "Actually, I'm with her _right now." _Jace sneered into the speaker. "And she's so much prettier than you are."

"Jace—I—"

"And she _trusts _me." Jace added. "She loves me and she trusts me, unlike you. She's better than you, Clary. She doesn't talk too much and she doesn't have a bad temper and she isn't annoying."

Clary's hands felt numb. "Stop it. You're drunk and you don't mean it—"

"But I do mean it." he laughed. It a cold laugh. "I mean every word. I wanted to tell you all of that before I broke up with you."

"Jace, you're not thinking straight—"

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" Jace snapped. "We're over. You screwed everything up. You messed up my life when you came into it, and I wasted four years of my life with you because of it. You mess everything up."

"Mess—everything—up?" Clary said between breaths. She felt like she couldn't breathe.

"I want nothing to do with you ever again, Clary Morgenstern," said Jace decidedly, and then he hung up.

The girl's laugh was still ringing in her ears she lowered her hand from her ear and set her phone down.

Hours passed. Jocelyn tried to console her daughter near midnight, but Clary wouldn't listen. She felt empty and worthless, and she was sobbing without tears because she had cried herself out a while ago.

She tried to sleep, but she couldn't sleep on the floor, and she didn't have the strength to get up and get in bed. Her head was buzzing by the time she finally got up at six in the morning.

Clary felt absolutely numb. And that was when she made her decision: she didn't want to live anymore.

* * *

><p>Once inside the hospital, after Isabelle got into a room and Simon went in with her, Clary collapsed in a chair next to Jace, rubbing her forehead. "Well, that was interesting."<p>

Isabelle had already started yelling at Simon, and it was such a sight to see that some of the nurses and other patients had been watching the married couple with amused glances. "You're telling me." Jace agreed. He looked at her carefully. "Clary, before Isabelle and Simon showed up at the restaurant, I wanted to talk to you—"

"Is she already in a room?" Maryse's worried voice inquired as the older woman rushed into the waiting room with Robert at her heels.

"Yeah." Clary smiled reassuringly at her. "Thank God we were only five minutes from the hospital."

"I can't believe we're going to be grandparents." Isabelle's mother said excitedly, sitting down next to her husband in the chairs. "Oh, my God. I'm old."

"You're just now realising that?" Jace raised his eyebrows at his mother, who glared at him.

Alec and Magnus were the next to arrive, and they both hugged Clary hello when they saw her.

"It's been too long, biscuit," said Magnus, affectionately flicking the redhead's shoulder. He flashed a smile at her. "How are you?"

"I'm good. I wish I'd gotten a chance to talk to you guys at the wedding, but I was a little busy." Clary said sheepishly.

Alec waved a hand. "We're just glad we get to talk to you again in general."

By the time Max got there, arriving five minutes after Mrs. Lewis and Rebecca, Jace was impatiently bouncing his leg in his chair. He kept stealing glances over at Clary, who was still talking to Magnus and Alec, and finally, he asked, "Clary, can I talk to you?"

Clary frowned. "Uh...sure."

He pulled at her wrist and led her out of the room. "In private," he explained as her expression was even more confused. He stopped in front of the supply closet, letting go of her wrist. "Okay. I know what you're going to say when I tell you this, but I have to say it. I'm sorry."

Her eyes widened. "Jace, this really isn't a good time—"

"I don't care." Jace said irritably, shaking his head. "I have to talk to you now. I can't keep pushing down what I want to say to you."

"Well, _I _can." Clary argued. "I'm not going to talk about this!"

"Clary—" the blond pinched the bridge of his nose just as someone rushed past them, knocking Clary into Jace and Jace into the supply closet. His foot collided with the door holder keeping the door open and sent it skidding across the floor until it hit the adjacent wall and stopped.

The door slammed shut as Clary fell on top of Jace, sending them both to the ground.

"Ow." Jace grunted as Clary sat up from where she was sprawled over him. She scrambled to her feet, blushing, as she offered him a hand to help him stand up.

"Sorry." Clary apologised. Jace grabbed her hand and pulled himself up, running his hand through her hair.

"It's fine." Jace responded, shrugging. "But we have to talk sooner or later, Clary, and we might as well do it now."

"I already said no, Jace, so stop asking." Clary snapped at him. "Your sister's about to have a baby, for—"

She broke off, trying to push the door handle again, but it was stuck. "No." Clary pushed again.

"What?" Jace put his hand on the doorknob when Clary removed hers, trying to open the door. "It's locked." he said, frowning.

Clary looked around the supply closet and suddenly felt very, very surrounded. Were the walls shrinking?

"Damn." the blond in front of her ran his hand through his hair. "And I left my phone in the waiting room. Do you have yours?"

"No." Clary shook her head. "I left it in my car."

Jace sat down against the door and exhaled. "I don't know how long we'll be in here for. We could try banging on the door, but I doubt that'll help."

Clary sat down too, sitting cross-legged as she folded her arms around herself. "Great. Just great."

He studied her for a minute. "I've regretted what I said ever since I said it."

"Don't." she said faintly. "Jace, please don't. Don't do this now."

"No. I have to." he shook his head stubbornly. "You were right—being drunk was _not _an excuse. When I said those things, I _wanted _to hurt you, like you'd hurt me."

"Stop." Clary squeezed her eyes shut.

But Jace went on. "I did the worst thing I could ever do to you, Clary, and if you'd died...I probably would have, too. I would have done anything—I still would do anything—to be able to go back and fix it."

Clary shook her head. She felt like she couldn't breathe. "Stop it, Jace. I can't breathe."

That caught his attention. He blinked. "What?"

"I can't breathe." she reiterated, starting to hyperventilate. Frantically, Clary looked around for a paper bag, but of course there wouldn't be any in a hospital supply closet. She tried breathing into her hands.

Jace looked absolutely freaked. "What's happening?"

"Claustrophobic." Clary said into her hands, squeezing her eyes shut again.

"When did that happen? You weren't claustrophobic—"

"I am now." she all-but snapped. "Doctor told me so after I woke up from the coma. I—" Clary stopped talking, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "I'm having a heart attack."

"No, you aren't." Jace said, but he sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than her. He looked as panicked as she felt, sitting up on his knees and trying to soothe her. "You're having an anxiety attack. Oh, God, Clary."

Clary breathed as deeply as she could, but her chest hurt. Jace stood up and banged on the door of the supply closet frantically, shouting as loud as he could. He was pale and his free hand was shaking.

"Clary?" Jace was shaking her shoulders. Vaguely, she realised that her eyes had shut and she felt dizzy. "Don't pass out. You're fine. Stay awake."

He shook her shoulders again, but Clary shut her eyes anyway. The last thing she heard was Jace shouting her name and the sound of a door opening, and then there was silence.

* * *

><p><strong>Don't hate me, pleeeease.<strong>

**P.S. See if you can guess where I put a somewhat-quote from City of Glass :-) Also, if you guys wanna review, that would be awesome :D**

**IN RESPONSE TO A GUEST: You don't have to have a Tumblr to vote for me! The poll is on a poll-maker website, and you don't have to have any kind of account to vote on it. So if you guys would like to go to my profile, click on the poll link, and vote for me, I'll give you al****l shirtless Jace! (And a faster update)**

**P.P.S.: Don't send any hate to me as well. Things aren't always as they seem.**


	13. twelve

**Author's Note: The feedback for last chapter was really awesome, guys. I loved reading your reactions. :-)**

**I had considered splitting this into two separate chapters, but then I decided, why not just write a bunch of stuff in Jace's POV in the flashbacks and in the present?**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Twelve<strong>

_2005_

Jace stormed out of Clary's bedroom, his hands shaking as he did so. He faintly heard her mother ask him what was wrong, but he was too busy stomping outside and slamming the door to notice.

He was _pissed. _No—he was hurt. He was hurt more than anything, because the girl he loved more than anything in the world didn't trust him and thought he was cheating on her.

Jace drove. He drove until he reached Hunter's Moon, which was a local bar. He parked his car and slammed that door too, entering the bar and sitting down at the counter.

The man behind it eyed him. He was someone that Jace vaguely knew; he went by the name of Bat. "Lightwood," he grunted, returning to cleaning the glass. "You got an ID that gives you permission to be in here?"

Jace showed Bat his fake ID. Bat was either stupid or he didn't care, because he sighed and leaned his palms against the counter. "What can I get you?"

"I don't care. Something strong." Jace put the card back into his wallet.

"Rough night?" the bartender flashed a glance at Jace as he poured a golden liquid into a shot glass.

"Don't want to talk about it." Jace responded. He lifted the glass to his chin and drank it all in one neat flick of his wrist. "Keep them coming."

Bat raised his eyebrows but he didn't answer as he filled the glass to the brim again.

A woman had taken a seat next to Jace. She was brown-haired and brown-eyed. Jace glanced at her carefully as he drank, and the first thought about her that ran through his head was that she was nowhere near as beautiful as Clary.

Clary. Jace tipped his glass back into his mouth again. His heart felt heavy and it hurt as he thought of his girlfriend. Was she even his girlfriend anymore? He had no idea what she was to him; mostly because he had no idea what he was to her.

"You look a little young to be drinking at a bar." the woman commented from beside him. When he looked at her, she was staring right at him.

"Must just be my youthful glow." Jace said sarcastically.

"Ouch." she frowned at him. "And you're touchy."

"Today isn't working for me."

"I can tell. Do you want to talk about it?"

Jace stared at her.

"I'm a therapist." her cheeks flushed from what Jace could only assume was embarrassment. "It's a habit. Sorry. My name's Raven."

"No, uh...it's fine." Jace cleared his throat. "I'm Jace. And—actually, talking about it might help. I don't know, though."

"Nice to meet you, Jace." Raven said, smiling at him. "And go ahead. I'm all ears."

So he told her as he drank more and more and as she did too. He ended up telling her everything, starting from the beginning, starting from when he first met Clary up until he stormed out of her house that night. And by the time he was finished, he was incredibly drunk.

"I think you should call her," said Raven. "Tell her how hurt she made you feel."

"Good idea." Jace said decidedly. He pulled his phone from his pocket and dialled Clary's phone number, holding it to his ear.

Clary picked up on the third ring. "Jace? Oh, God, Jace, I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have thought you were cheating on me, because it was stupid—"

Jace had every intention of telling her and speaking calmly, but as soon as he heard her voice, he pitched that idea. "No, it wasn't. Because I actually am cheating on you."

"Wh-what?" she sounded hurt. _Good. _Jace glanced over at the brunette beside him, who was chatting with Bat casually. Raven laughed loudly at something the bartender said.

"Actually, I'm with her _right now." _Jace said, watching them. "And she's so much prettier than you are."

That was a complete lie, and he knew it. But he wanted her to hurt badly. "Jace—I—"

"And she _trusts _me." he kept talking. "She loves me and she trusts me, unlike you. She's better than you, Clary. She doesn't talk too much and she doesn't have a bad temper and she isn't annoying."

"Stop it." Clary said faintly. "You're drunk and you don't mean it—"

"But I do mean it." the laugh that came out of Jace's mouth was bitter. "I mean every word. I wanted to tell you all of that before I broke up with you."

"Jace," she tried, "you're not thinking straight—"

"Do you understand what I'm saying?" Jace demanded shortly into the phone. "We're over. You screwed everything up. You messed up my life when you came into it, and I wasted four years of my life with you because of it. You mess everything up."

"Mess—everything—up?" Clary's voice came out in squeaks, like she could barely get out the words. Jace squeezed his eyes shut.

"I want nothing to do with you ever again, Clary Morgenstern." he said, and then he hung up, putting his phone into his pocket.

When he looked over at the brunette, Raven was staring at him through squinted eyes. "I heard all of that, you know." she said slowly. "You said you were gonna tell her how you felt."

"Well, I lied." Jace responded.

Raven sighed. She was on her third drink, but she could hold her liquor incredibly well. "I think you should go home. I'll drive you."

"I can drive myself." Jace answered, standing up.

Raven stood up too and she rolled her eyes. "Please. If you were to get busted, you'd be in trouble for DUI _and _underage drinking. I won't tell anyone, of course," she added as he stared at her, "as long as you let me drive you."

Jace sighed and handed her his keys. "How are you supposed to get home, then?"

"I've got a boyfriend. I'll call him." she replied, leading him outside after paying for both his bill and hers. Jace climbed into the passenger seat and told Raven his address.

Raven pulled up in front of Jace's home and whistled. "Damn, this place is huge." she put the car in park and removed the keys, handing them to Jace along with his phone. When did she get his phone? "I put my number in there if you ever need to talk to someone or have a designated driver if you want to get drunk at a bar again."

"Oh. Wow. Thanks." Jace looked down at his phone in surprise and then back up at her.

"No problem." she got out of his car with her bag. "Also, don't be an idiot and break up with Clary. From what you told me, you really love her. Which would explain why you're so hurt. So tomorrow, get your ass over to her house and apologise for all the stupid shit you said. Got it?"

"Uh...yes ma'am." Jace blinked. "Thanks again."

Raven smiled at him and walked down the street as Jace entered his home. He managed to get to his room without running into any of his family members and he collapsed on his bed, falling asleep just moments after.

Jace's dreams were filled of images of Clary, looking as terrified as her voice sounded over the phone. In one of them, he was screaming at her, watching her face get whiter and whiter and whiter—

"What the hell is _wrong with you, _Jace Lightwood?"

A screeching voice brought Jace back to consciousness. When he blinked, sitting up, Isabelle's hands were on her hips and she was glaring at him angrily.

"Isabelle?" his voice was thick with sleep. "What the—it's _six in the morning!"_

"Doesn't matter." she waved her hand. "Jonathan called me last night. He said Jocelyn called him and that she was worried because she saw _you _storming out of their house and then she saw Clary sobbing on her bedroom floor."

Jace's eyes widened. "Clary." he shot to his feet, grabbing his jacket.

"Where are you _going?" _Isabelle demanded.

"To Clary's," he answered, hurrying out of the room. "I have to apologise."

"Jace!" Isabelle stomped her foot, but Jace didn't stop. He rushed out of the Institute and hurried to his car, all-but speeding down the road to Clary's house.

When he got there, he impatiently knocked repeatedly on the door until Jocelyn pulled it open. "Jace." she said, blinking in surprise. "I—"

"Sorry, Mrs. Graymark." Jace said, smoothly hurrying past her. His head was pounding with a headache, but he didn't care as he climbed the stairs and stopped in front of Clary's door.

He knocked three times. "Clary?"

There was no response. "Clary," said Jace, pushing on the doorknob. It was unlocked, and he opened the door as he started to talk again. "I know it's early, and I'm sorry, but—"

Jace froze.

In Clary's room was a walk-in closet. It was so much taller than her, and she would always complain when she would try to reach things on the top shelf; as a result, she kept a stool inside of the closet.

And that stool was knocked over on the floor below Clary's body, which was hanging from the bar on the ceiling of her walk-in closet.

"Clary!" Jace rushed forward. He loosened the rope around her neck and pulled it over her head, pulling her against his body as Jocelyn rushed into the room, followed by Luke.

Jace's hands were shaking. He felt sick to his stomach as he took in Jocelyn's expression—it was horrified. Luke dialled 911 as Jocelyn demanded Jace for an explanation.

"I—I don't know." he said worriedly. Clary's unconscious head lolled to the side in his arms. "I came in here and she was just—just _hanging _from the ceiling."

"Oh, my God." Jocelyn said faintly. "Oh, my _God._ My baby."

She pulled Clary into her arms, sobbing into Clary's red curls. Jace sank back against his heels, staring down at his hands. They were still shaking. He was still freaking out. His eyes pooled with tears as he watched Clary in her mother's arms.

Jace couldn't tell if Clary was breathing or not.

The paramedics were there within five minutes, and they hoisted Clary gently onto a stretcher, taking her into the ambulance. Jocelyn and Luke hurried to their car and so did Jace, unlocking his door and pulling it open.

"Go home, Jace." Jocelyn said. She was crying and she was watching the blond boy.

"What?" Jace's eyes widened. "No! I have to be at the hospital—"

"No, Jace."

"I _found _her!"

"And if it weren't for you, my daughter wouldn't be _dying!" _Jocelyn's voice had risen to a shout. She held her hands to her chest and sobbed once. "Go _home, _Jace, for God's sake."

"I can't." Jace shook his head.

"Don't you realise that this is your _fault?"_

"I do." he said. The dizzy feeling was still there. "Mrs. Graymark, I need to be there when she wakes up."

"Then I'll call you when she does." Jocelyn's voice was cold. "Go home. Don't make me tell you again. Cool down. Tell your family what happened. What you did."

"I'm so, _so _sorry, Mrs. Graymark." Jace whispered, but Jocelyn had already turned around and was walking to her car, her shoulders shaking with silent sobs.

* * *

><p>Jace nearly kissed the janitor with relief.<p>

Clary had just fainted when the door to the supply closet opened. Standing in the doorway was the baffled janitor, watching as Jace scooped Clary up in his arms and rushed her out of the room. A doctor just happened to be walking past as Jace exited the supply closet and he led Jace down to one of the empty rooms where they put Clary on the bed.

He left the room, briefly memorising the hospital room number before walking back to the waiting room where his family was.

"Hey!" Alec stood up. "Where have you been? And where's Clary?"

"We were locked in a supply closet." Jace pushed his hair back behind his ears. "And Clary's in a hospital room."

"_What_?"

Jace explained the claustrophobia and anxiety attack to them. "She'd just fainted when the janitor opened the door. The doctor was already working on calling Clary's family when I left the room."

"How did you two get stuck in a supply closet?" Magnus wondered.

"I was trying to talk to her. Someone bumped us into the supply closet and the door slammed shut and it was locked from the inside." Jace rubbed his face. "She told me that after she woke up from the coma, she had side effects—anxiety attacks and claustrophobia."

"Sir?" a nurse was standing in the doorway of the waiting room. She was looking at Jace. "Your girlfriend's awake."

"Be right back." Jace promised. He looked at Alec. "Text me if anything happens with Isabelle before I'm back, okay?"

"Got it." Alec said. He bit his lip.

Jace turned and followed the nurse out of the waiting room.

* * *

><p><strong>Aaand that's it. Man, that took me forever, but I hope it was good. That's probably the longest chapter I've written so far. Or second longest.<strong>

**Let me know what you want to see in the next chapter! And don't forget about my poll on my profile—if you haven't voted already, you now know what Jace did to Clary, so you can make your judgement on that! Do you want Clary to forgive Jace? **

**Review! Thank you guys **_**so much **_**for getting us over 400 reviews last chapter, by the way—I was absolutely blown away. I'll try to update tomorrow, too, so fingers crossed!**


	14. thirteen

**Author's Note: Hello! I'm back again! (Three nights in a row. Wow.)**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter Thirteen<strong>

_2005_

"She's stable." the doctor explained calmly, watching as Jocelyn's eyes filled with tears out of relief instead of sadness. "Thankfully, due to her weight and the fact that her closet wasn't tall enough to let her drop more than a few inches, she did not break her neck. Judging by the lack of oxygen, she had been hanging for three or four minutes."

"So she's going to be okay?" Luke asked softly. He was holding Jocelyn as she started to sob again. "When will she wake up?"

"I'm not sure about that." the doctor confessed. "The lack of oxygen to her brain could potentially cause a coma; if it does, that coma could be long-term or short-term, and it could potentially end in death."

Jocelyn covered her mouth with her hands.

"I'm sorry." he said. "We will do everything we can to save your daughter."

The doctor turned around and left the waiting room, leaving a teary-eyed Luke to hold his wife in his arms, rocking her back and forth as she cried.

Months passed. Simon came around more than anyone, besides Clary's immediate family; Isabelle visited often, too, and so did Max; the young boy would sit by Clary's bed and read her manga until Maryse and Robert would softly coax him home.

It wasn't until April of the next year that Jocelyn got the phone call from the hospital. Clary was awake.

The older woman rushed to her daughter's hospital room with her heart pounding in her chest.

"Mom?" Clary blinked. "Mom!"

"Clary. Oh, my _God, _honey." Jocelyn gently put her arms around her daughter, hugging her tightly. "Luke and your father are on their way. Jonathan will be here soon, too."

"What happened? I don't remember..." Clary frowned in concentration.

Jocelyn sat on the corner of the bed and stroked her daughter's hair gently. "You tried committing suicide, honey. You've been in a coma for eleven months."

"Suicide? Why would I..." the nineteen-year-old trailed off, and then she blinked. "Oh. Jace."

Her mother bit her lip. "I'm so sorry, honey."

"Is he here?"

Looking surprised, Jocelyn responded, "No. He's not. Do you want me to call him?"

"No." Clary let out a breath that she didn't realise she'd been holding. "I want nothing to do with him. Mom, don't let him near me _ever _again. I don't...I don't want to talk to anyone. Not Jace, not Isabelle, not Simon—nobody. Except for you, Dad, Luke, and Jonathan."

"Honey," said Jocelyn softly. "You don't mean that. Isabelle and Simon are your best friends. And you _love _Max and Alec."

"I don't care. I can't..." Clary shook her head. Her heart monitor's monotone beeping had sped up. "I can't do it, Mom, please. If any of them are here, tell them I can't see them. I won't see them. I _won't._"

"Okay. Okay, sweetheart, I promise." Jocelyn put her hand on Clary's arm and her daughter's heartbeat slowed to a normal pace. "I promise," she repeated, kissing her hair. "You shouldn't be getting so worked up. Try and rest for a little bit. I'll be right back."

"Okay." Clary's voice was soft. "All right, Mom."

Jocelyn kissed her daughter's hair and left the room.

* * *

><p>"Hey." Jace said softly, knocking on the open door as he stepped into Clary's hospital room. The girl he was still in love with was sitting up, her eyes snapping to his as he spoke. "How are you feeling?"<p>

Clary blinked at him. For a minute, Jace thought she would be upset with him. And then she asked, "Who are you?"

Jace felt dizzy. He stared back at her. "Clary, it's—it's me, Jace." Sitting down in the chair beside her bed, he watched her curious gaze stay on him. "Jace. Your—uh, your—"

"Kidding!" Clary exclaimed, grinning as Jace paled. "Oh, my _God, _Jace, you should have seen the look on your face!"

Jace pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers. "You nearly scared me to death, Clary Morgenstern."

Her smile faded a little bit; the last time he'd said her full name was over nine years ago, when he was drunk at a bar and dialled her number to say nothing but hurtful words.

"How's Isabelle?" Clary cleared her throat.

"Still in labour." Jace responded. "You've only been unconscious for ten minutes or so."

"I better not be in this bed when she gives birth." the redhead grumbled.

"You won't be," promised Jace. "You know, as long as Isabelle doesn't give birth until...roughly twenty-four hours from now."

Clary groaned loudly. "They're keeping me _overnight?"_

"They are. They want to make sure everything's okay after you fainted and such."

"Great. Just great." she sighed. "You don't have to stay with me, you know."

"I'm going to." Jace replied. "It's my fault. If I hadn't tried to push you to talk to me, we wouldn't have gotten stuck in that stupid closet, and then I wouldn't have tried to talk to you while in the closet and it wouldn't have freaked you out and you wouldn't have fainted."

Clary looked over at him. He looked guilty, staring at his hands that were scarred with numerous scars that seemed to pop up out of nowhere. "It's not your fault, Jace."

"Yes, it _is." _he stared up at her with pained tawny eyes. "Everything is my fault, Clary."

She took a deep breath. "I don't..."

"Right. You're right." the blond sighed. "I shouldn't try and talk to you about this. Not until you're ready. I know that now—I would have known that earlier if I weren't so stubborn."

Clary didn't respond.

"You should rest." Jace said quietly, hesitantly reaching out to put his hand over hers. "I'm gonna go back to the waiting room with my family."

"Would you come back later?" the words were out of Clary's mouth before she could stop them. Jace watched her carefully as he stood up, like he was expecting her to take them back, but he didn't.

"Sure." he said quietly. "I'll come back later."

Jace left the room. Clary lay back down, sighing, shutting her eyes and letting sleep overcome her.

Her dreams weren't dreams—they were nightmares. Nightmares of the night that Jace had heard the things she'd said, the things that hurt him—and of when he called her later, clearly drunk, saying things that hurt her right back.

"I want nothing to do with you ever again, Clary Morgenstern. Clary. Clary." Jace chanted her name in the dream over and over.

"_Clary!"_

A hand on her arm made her wake up. Clary shot up into a sitting position, breathing hard as she looked frantically around the room to figure out where she was. Slowly, she remembered that she was in a hospital room; the hand on her arm was Jace's, and he was staring at her with worried eyes.

"What time is it?" Clary tried to calm herself; if her heart kept beating as quickly as it was, doctors and nurses would be rushing in to see if anything was wrong.

"Midnight." Jace answered. There was a red print on the side of his cheek, like a hand mark. He'd been sleeping in the chair, she realised. "Isabelle hasn't given birth yet. I came in here about an hour ago."

"Oh."

"You know, I can fight away any nightmares." Jace said quietly. "With my bare hands, obviously," he added, cracking a smile.

Clary smiled slightly. "How'd you know I was having a nightmare?"

"You were tossing and turning." Jace told her. "And...you said my name."

She paused.

"There's no way you would have said my name if it was a dream. Not after what I did."

Clary didn't answer. She stared at where his hand was still resting on her arm until he pulled it away and rested it on the arm of the chair.

"I never cheated on you, you know."

Her breath hitched in her throat. She looked up at Jace, who was staring at her intently, speaking quietly. "What?"

"I never cheated on you." Jace repeated.

"But—there was a girl—"

"Her name was Raven." he explained. "I...after I left your house, I went to Hunter's Moon. She sat beside me at the bar. She was a therapist, and she listened to me tell her everything about you. And then she told me to call you and tell you how much you'd hurt me by saying you didn't trust me because you thought I was going to cheat on you."

Clary waited as he stared down at his hands, pausing before he spoke again. "I was drunk by then. As soon as I heard your voice, I just felt...so, _so _angry that I snapped. I wanted you to feel as hurt as I'd felt, so I...I made it up. I never cheated on you, Clary, I swear to _God_."

"Jace..." Clary trailed off. She didn't know what to say. She stared at him, and he stared back, waiting for her to say something.

"Jace!" Max skidded into the room, breathing heavily and out of breath. It took him several seconds to be able to speak again. "Isabelle had the baby. It's a boy."

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><p><strong>I'm sorry for cutting it short, guys; I wanted to update tonight, though, and hopefully I'll update tomorrow with something either equally as long or even longer.<strong>

**Tell me what you guys want to see in the next chapter, okay? I value your input more than absolutely anything.**

**P.S. Thank you guys for 50 reviews on that last chapter! Could we get that many for this one? :-)**


	15. fourteen

**Author's Note: Of course, I totally had to ruin my three-day streak by hanging out with my friends last night. And tonight. Bleh.**

**I think we're running low on flashbacks, guys; at least...important ones. I basically showed everything that happened. I dunno; do you guys want me to keep the flashbacks until the end of the story?**

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><p><strong>Chapter Fourteen<strong>

_2003_

Clary woke in the middle of the night to the sound of a baby crying and the sound of Isabelle cursing.

"What the hell?" inquired the redhead sleepily, sitting up from where she was sprawled across Isabelle's bedroom floor. "Isabelle, what is going on?"

"It's this stupid baby," said Isabelle with frustration, bouncing up and down with the plastic baby doll in her arms. "Ugh! Why did I ever think taking Child Development was a good idea?"

"Because you're dumb?" Clary supplied, earning a glare from her best friend in response. "Your mom thought it would be a good idea, Izzy, and you had an extra semester."

"I should have just taken a study hall."

"You should have, but you didn't. Think of this as practice for when you get married and have real kids."

"I'm never having kids," said the black-haired girl decidedly, exhaling in relief as the baby quit its crying. "Ever. This is hard work."

"You'll change your mind about that." Clary warned her.

Isabelle sniffed. "As _if. _If I ever change my mind about having kids, you have permission to slap me."

"I'll probably slap you any minute anyway. You and your stupid baby woke me up."

"You're a real pal." Isabelle said sarcastically as Clary flopped back down onto the floor.

"Thanks." the redhead yawned loudly. "I know I am. Now let me sleep."

Isabelle shook her head, climbing back under the covers. She shut her eyes as she started to drift back asleep. It was half past midnight.

At around one in the morning, Clary woke up again. This time, Isabelle was fast asleep, but her fake baby wasn't; it was screaming at the top of its nonexistent lungs, and when Clary looked to her best friend, the black-haired teenager was sleeping with earplugs in her ears.

"Isabelle Lightwood, you will make a terrible mother if you treat your real kid like this." Clary grumbled, walking over to the doll and picking it up. "And I am _so _changing my schedule before I take Child Development next semester."

* * *

><p>Simon flexed the fingers of his right hand as he watched Isabelle cradle their son in her arms, her smile the brightest he'd ever seen it. The baby—who they still hadn't named—was fast asleep in his mother's arms. The blue beanie the nurses had placed on his head was too big and all-but falling over his eyes.<p>

"Colton." Isabelle said softly, keeping her dark eyes locked on her son. "Is that an all right name?"

"It's perfect." Simon responded, kissing her temple. "What about Tate for a middle name?"

"Colton Tate Lewis," mused his wife, watching as the baby's face twitched in his sleep. "I love it, Simon."

"Can I see my godson now?" whined a voice from the doorframe, and there was Clary, standing with her hands on her hips but a smile on her mouth. She looked a little pale and she was dressed in a hospital gown similar to what Isabelle was wearing.

"Are you okay?" Simon frowned at her. "Why are you in a hospital gown?"

"I may or may not have had an anxiety attack inside the hospital's supply closet." she replied sheepishly. Jace was standing behind her, Simon noted, his body rigid. "But I'm totally fine, I promise. And I won't even ask to hold the baby."

"What's his name?" Jace interrupted with a soft tone, his golden eyes fixed on his twin sister and the bundle in her arms.

"Colton Tate." Isabelle answered, cooing at her son, smiling. "Do you want to hold him?" she added, looking up at Simon. "I want to smack Clary for causing drama while I was in labour."

"It's not my fault!" Clary protested, but Isabelle was grinning at her. "Jeez, Izzy."

Simon took Colton into his own arms, supporting his son's head more than anything else. The baby slept on, turning his body slightly to cuddle into his father's chest. "As long as you give me permission to faint when _you _give birth, we'll be even." Isabelle shrugged.

"Well, good luck with that. I don't plan on giving birth any time soon. Maybe ever."

Isabelle arched a dark eyebrow but said nothing. Jace looked at Clary with an unreadable look in his eyes, but before the silence could get too awkward, Alec had barged into the room, immediately grinning as he laid eyes on his nephew.

* * *

><p>Jace accompanied Clary back to her hospital room after they said their goodbyes to Isabelle and Simon. He kept a hand close to her but not on her, but Clary could still feel the faint heat of his skin near her back. He was always warm, and Clary had always loved that about him.<p>

"We're godparents." she said softly as they entered her room. "And an aunt and uncle."

"I know." Jace agreed, sitting down in the chair next to her bed as Clary climbed under the thin hospital sheets. "Is it bad that I'm scared?"

"I already told you that you'd make an amazing uncle, so yes." Clary said, looking over at him. "Jace, everyone you've ever met has loved you. So will Colton."

"Unless he takes after his aunt and hates me eventually." the words were quiet, and Jace spoke them bitterly to the floor.

Clary shut her eyes. "I don't hate you."

"You did. I know you did."

"I don't anymore, Jace."

Clary opened her eyes again, only to find that Jace's were closed. "I don't actually understand, you know," he said, keeping his gold eyes shut. "It wasn't entirely my fault. You hurt me, too. Just not as badly. I reacted worse than I should have, but it wasn't entirely my fault. And I just wanted someone to hear me when I said that, because everyone blames me entirely. How was I supposed to feel? I come to surprise my girlfriend at her house when I hear her talking to my sister about how she doesn't trust me, and how she hasn't for the past year, all because I was acting distant—"

"You were." Clary interrupted.

"I didn't think I was. And if you did, you should have asked me. I wouldn't have been mad. Or hurt." Jace's tone was still calm, his eyes still closed, though his body was tense. "I felt like shit, Clary, even the minute after I said what I said. I woke up at six in the morning to Isabelle yelling at me, and as soon as I woke up, I darted out of my room and drove straight to your house."

Clary didn't respond, so Jace kept going: "I went straight up to your room and when I said your name, you didn't answer, so I thought you were just ignoring me or sleeping. So I went into your room and I saw...I saw you, hanging in your closet, and in that moment, I would have done anything to switch places with you right there."

"You..." Clary started, but she couldn't find the words.

"I saved you." he said quietly. "I saved you from dying, and every night until you woke up, I had nightmares of that morning. It haunted me, and then it haunted me again when your mother told me you never wanted to see me again."

"You're the one who found me?" she whispered.

Jace nodded. "God, Clary, I felt awful. I wasn't even allowed to see if you were _okay. _I left the hospital with your mother hating me, not knowing what happened to you entirely; all I wanted to do was see you one last time. But I knew it was too soon, and so then I left. And...now that I've said all of this, I realise that I can't ask you for your forgiveness. Not if you're not ready. Never if you're never ready. And if you want me to leave, I will."

He stared at her then, hope in his eyes. Clary realised that he expected her to tell him to leave.

"I can't forgive you." Clary said slowly, and she watched as his face fell. "Not yet. But I know that this entire thing was not your fault only, and so...I'm sorry. I'm asking for your forgiveness. Because I should have done something instead of keeping back. I should have asked you if you were cheating on me or what was going on or I should have just told you what I was feeling. You were right. I mess everything up."

"_No." _Jace said suddenly, his voice so harsh that Clary nearly jumped from surprise. "You do _not _mess everything up, Clary, do you hear me?"

He put his hand over hers and Clary let him keep it there, her eyes locked on his, green on gold. "You don't talk too much. You aren't annoying. I never wasted a _minute _of my life with you. You screwed nothing up. You didn't mess up my life. _Nobody _is more beautiful than you. I want _everything _to do with you, Clary. I wanted everything to do with you. Everything I said over the phone that night was a lie."

"Except for my bad temper." Clary said quietly.

Jace cracked a smile. "Maybe except for your bad temper," he agreed.

"I'm sorry, Jace." she repeated. "I wish I hadn't been so stupid."

"It's okay, Clary." Jace replied. "We all do stupid things when we're in love."

"You probably want to go home now," guessed Clary. "You've been in the hospital for what seems like forever."

"So have you. If you want me to leave—"

"I don't. I want you to stay."

Jace blinked at her, but he said, "Okay," with the slightest smile and he squeezed her hand before letting it go. "But if I have a stiff neck in the morning, you have to promise to passage it."

Clary snorted. "In your dreams, Lightwood."

His smile widened slightly. "Sleep well, Clary. And don't forget that I'll fight off your nightmares."

Clary shifted so that she was laying down, her eyes still locked with Jace's. And then she slid hers shut, drifting off into a sleep where she dreamed of her high school days, with Jace by her side forever and always, and she found herself missing it more than she wanted to admit.

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><p><strong>Jeez, that took me forever, but I'm really happy with how it turned out. I've been rereading the series, so I hope I don't sound too much like Cassie, lol.<strong>

**So here's where we stand: in your review, let me know if you still want me to keep the flashbacks going until the end of the story. Also: Jace and Clary are sort-of friends. And Clary realised that the entire deal ten years ago wasn't entirely Jace's fault and never was entirely his fault. And: Simon and Izzy have a baby boy! What do you think of the name Colton Tate?**

**What do you want to see in the next chapter? Add that to your review as well, and go vote on the poll in my profile! I'll be taking it down after next chapter; do you want Clary to forgive Jace?**

**And if you want to, I have a link on my profile to an Author's Spotlight that I would absolutely be honoured to win!**

**Hopefully, I'll update tomorrow. Super sorry for the long author's note, hehe.**


	16. fifteen

**Author's Note: I'm so behind. Dang it. Dang. It.**

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><p><strong>Chapter Fifteen<strong>

_2005_

Jace sighed and threw the baseball up into the air again, catching it with ease. He was lying in his bed, remembering all the times he and Clary had sat on it while they were doing homework and all the times he distracted her by doing other things...

He missed her more than he could ever say. If Jace had his way, he would be sitting in the hospital next to Clary from the minute the hospital let him in to the minute the hospital kicked him out. But he didn't have his way—because Jocelyn blamed Jace for what happened.

She wasn't wrong. Jace blamed himself. He'd give anything to go back in time and fix it.

But he couldn't.

"Hey, man." Alec said quietly, leaning against the door of his younger brother's room. "Magnus and I are taking Max out bowling. Want to join?"

"Isn't Max angry with me too?" Jace said bitterly. "And when's he going back to Idris?"

"He isn't. Mom and Dad let him come home. He'll be going to St. Xavier's Middle School starting next week. And he's not angry with you," added Alec, narrowing his blue eyes. "So don't be negative. Join us for bowling."

"Fine." the blond muttered, standing up. "I guess I'll come."

"And for what it's worth, Max asked me to ask you to come." Alec told him, walking out of Jace's room.

"Then why didn't Max ask me himself?"

"You've been moody recently."

"I have _not."_

"Have too, Jace. Don't deny it. And we all know I'm the only one who can take your moody sarcasticness when you're in a pissy mood."

Jace rolled his eyes, following Alec quickly. "Just let me be an angst-ridden teenager with incredible sarcastic wit, Alec."

"Make me, Jace." Alec responded, grabbing the keys from the hook near the door. "Magnus took Max and we'll meet them there."

"I'm surprised you aren't yelling at me like Izzy did." Jace said, glancing at his older brother as they climbed into Alec's Range Rover. "You usually take her side."

"I don't blame you, Jace." Alec said to his brother. "I mean...sure, you said some stuff that you shouldn't have, but it wasn't even entirely your fault. It was Clary's, too."

Jace blinked.

"We're here." Alec said abruptly, pulling in front of the bowling alley. "And we'd better get inside before Magnus infects Max with his glitter."

* * *

><p>Clary set Colton down in his crib and eased her finger out of his tight crib. A month had passed since the baby was born (and since Clary and Jace last spoke about what happened nine years ago); Clary had been more than willing to babysit for Isabelle and Simon so they could finally go out and have a break from the baby.<p>

"I'm here!" Max called from the front door. "And I brought Chinese!"

"Shh!" Clary shut the door behind her as she left Colton's room. "I finally got the kid to sleep. It's been hours."

"I brought Chinese," repeated Max, this time in a whisper, setting the takeout bag on Isabelle and Simon's kitchen table. "And a couple movies. I thought Jace was going to help you babysit?"

"He cancelled." the redhead answered.

"Ah. So I'm your last resort?"

"Funny, Max. You're not my last resort. Actually, you're my first pick—Simon and Izzy asked Jace and I to babysit. As the godparents, you know." Clary told the grey-eyed boy, grabbing a carton of food and opening it as she hopped up onto the counter. "You know you're my favourite."

"I know." Max grinned at her. "So how have you been?"

"Good, actually. My dad's attending some big art auction in San Francisco and he wants me to draw and paint something for him." Clary pulled out a fork from the drawer. She had never been able to use chopsticks, and the one time she tried, a bunch of chow mein noodles ended up on the ceiling. "So I've started on that. And I'm still working on my mom's birthday present."

"So you're good but busy," he mused.

"Yup." she agreed. "So what's up with your life, Max? Any girls?"

"Yeah, actually," said Max, blushing as he dug his fork into his fried rice. "Uh, Drusilla Blackthorn."

"Dru Blackthorn?" Clary's eyebrows were raised. "Helen's younger sister?"

"That's the one." he was still blushing. "We met a couple months ago, and I asked her out last week."

"Aw, look at you." she reached out and ruffled his dark hair. "You're all grown up."

"I've been grown up." Max grumbled, ducking out of her reach. "Don't do that anymore."

"You know you love it."

"I do _not."_

Clary laughed loudly, pulling her hand back. "All right, all right. Fine. You win. No more hair-ruffling for Max."

"Good." Max bumped her hip as he leaned against the counter next to her. "You know, Si and Izzy might make you their official babysitter."

"I wouldn't mind that." Clary mused. "I mean, I could bring my art here and work on it a little while Colton sleeps."

"I've got tons of free time. I could help out."

She smiled at him. "Sounds like a plan. So, do you want to pop in _The Avengers _and see how much of it we can watch until Colton wakes up?"

"Absolutely." Max replied. "Though we should probably start watching a new movie instead of rewatching this one about one-hundred times."

"We will." Clary promised. "As soon as _Avengers: Age of Ultron _comes out."

* * *

><p>"Your child is probably the best-behaved child I've ever met." Clary told Simon and Isabelle as she passed off the sleeping baby to his mother. "Seriously. Go out every night if you want. I'll watch him."<p>

"You'll _spoil _him." Isabelle corrected, grinning. "I don't know how you can spoil a one-month-old, but you will. Anyway, were you able to watch him easily? He took the bottle and everything?"

"He wasn't happy about it, but yes, he did." Clary smiled as she pulled her shoes on. "And after I burped him, he was up for a few hours before I finally got him to sleep."

"Thank you again, Clary," said Simon, reaching out and hugging her tightly. "I wish Max had stayed so we could thank him, too."

"He went to meet Dru." Clary grinned.

"Drusilla Blackthorn?" Isabelle looked shocked. "Aline's wife Helen's little sister?"

"That's the one. He didn't tell you?"

"Nope. But I'm happy for him." the black-haired girl admitted. "And I'll have to scorn him for not telling me about her later. Are you going back to your flat?"

"Yeah." Clary grabbed her keys. "I'll see you guys later."

"Of course. Bye, Clary." Simon waved at her.

Isabelle was smiling brightly as Clary opened the front door. "You'll make an amazing mother."

"Thanks, Izzy." Clary bit her lip and smiled back, and as she left the house, her smile widened.

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><p><strong>This was totally a filler chapter, but it was needed after like three chapters of intense shiz in a row.<strong>

**A lot of you guys asked for a jealous Jace, and I'll try to put that in there at some point. Maybe. As soon as I figure out a guy for Clary to have previously dated.**

**Review!**


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